wow, i can't believe it's been so long since i've updated.
i guess silence can speak volumes.
it's not that i haven't been in the water. i've been out every weekend.
i think i'm just hitting a valley right now. the months of struggling and the money that keeps flying out of my bank account is starting to affect me.
i'm tired of going out on my own and getting battered or just getting nothing. it's so entirely frustrating to drive for hours to do nothing.
the novelty has waned. my positive outlook has been tarnished by the reality of life. i'm so afraid i just can't do it. i'm so unathletic. so overweight. so old. i feel like i don't belong.
that's what's been repeating in my head at least..
at my last lesson, richard took me from the old 11' foot board down to a somewhat normal (finally) learning board- a 9'2" soft top. still very wide and buoyant. honestly it was harder to paddle than i expected. lots of wobbling from side to side. however, on the handful of waves "we" caught, i was able to get right to my knees but struggled in maneuvering my body to attempt a real pop up. i fell every time, but i'm not really surprised by that. i fell every time my first time on the 11' board too. unfortunately, i'm on the clock with this so i only have so many times to try.
i'm so glad i decided to go with the 9'6" board. however, i am aware it won't be a magic cure and there's still a scary amount for me to learn. richard said i was barely tickling the water when i thought i was paddling for waves.
my fitness just sucks. my eating sucks. everything sucks. i need some sort of sensei to come and shove me around and remind me how important this all is to me. i caught a few glimpses of the rides other people were getting and i have to say they were pretty inspirational.. watching someone ride waves from water level is pretty special.
i guess i need some water time that's in-between a hopeless solo session and an intensive lesson- where i can go with a friend and have fun and still get some help and guidance.
not giving up.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Sunday, April 12, 2015
wow, i can't believe i've been surfing for a quarter of a year already. of course that's like, nothing. but i can feel how it's a pretty good time point where the majority of people get intensely frustrated and give up. i honestly think that if i hadn't decided to take lessons and get some help, i might be close to it.
i had a really frustrating day at linda mar (i feel like i've said this so many times!)- of course, it was fair/poor conditions but after using the giant SUP to learn on, wobbling off my 9' board was a pretty miserable experience. i was totally rusty and the water was SO choppy. i so desperately want to be able to just catch a wave on my own, aside from standing.. but i feel like i can't get lined up and comfortable/balanced on my board nor can i really assess a good place to be in the constant washing machine environment.
it took me 3 tries to even get close to getting out the back but really, i barely did because there was so much chop and there were sorta mini waves breaking out far past even where the eye could see. on the bright side, there weren't many other people getting much done in the water either. it was the first time there were more people out on the beach than in the water, including young girls in bikinis playing at the shore which shocked me as it was FREEZING COLD in the water. like, hurt my hands. i got slammed in the face and shot off my board more times than i can count. it was hard for me to try and punch through waves when i wasn't balancing on my board very well. i can really see why the right equipment for beginners is so important- a too small board just makes a fun activity an exercise in futility.
i try to at least take away one positive from any trip out and i will say that even though i haven't paddled much in the past few weeks, this was one time where i really felt like i was moving when i was paddling and ensuring i was digging in the water with long strokes and pulling myself forward. also, i did accomplish one really good turtle roll, didn't get dragged, wave rolled right over me, flipped back and kept paddling.
really, i just missed riding waves so much. i have been spoiled on my lessons with richard, where i am riding like 10+ waves per hour. it's kinda hard to go back now that i've had a taste of that. i really am SO HAPPY i ordered a new board that will be much more stable than what i have now.
i also made an important non-surfing related decision this weekend which was that i need to be a little more diversified in my life with my activities. i had totally uprooted my social life for surfing, which was due to general burn-out but ultimately not really healthy. so i went to my old regular haunt nightclub and went dancing, had a couple drinks, saw friends.. it felt really good. however, it also made me feel like shit the day after though i guess a saltwater dunk might have alleviated. i so wish i liked linda mar more. it just doesn't even compare to the perfection that is santa cruz :(
so i think i will try to have a lesson this saturday. this just isn't really enough surfing for my liking, but life is what it is. i just realized i'm not even sore from yesterday! maybe that's some sort of growth. i don't think i was out all that long, maybe an hour at most though. i remember i was totally annihilated for days after my first time in the ocean with a surfboard.
thinking about joining a gym so i can fill some weekday time with elliptical or something to get cardio in to try and get my stamina up for my LA trip where i want to make sure i surf at least 5/7 days. aaand i guess that's it! boring blog is boring.
i had a really frustrating day at linda mar (i feel like i've said this so many times!)- of course, it was fair/poor conditions but after using the giant SUP to learn on, wobbling off my 9' board was a pretty miserable experience. i was totally rusty and the water was SO choppy. i so desperately want to be able to just catch a wave on my own, aside from standing.. but i feel like i can't get lined up and comfortable/balanced on my board nor can i really assess a good place to be in the constant washing machine environment.
it took me 3 tries to even get close to getting out the back but really, i barely did because there was so much chop and there were sorta mini waves breaking out far past even where the eye could see. on the bright side, there weren't many other people getting much done in the water either. it was the first time there were more people out on the beach than in the water, including young girls in bikinis playing at the shore which shocked me as it was FREEZING COLD in the water. like, hurt my hands. i got slammed in the face and shot off my board more times than i can count. it was hard for me to try and punch through waves when i wasn't balancing on my board very well. i can really see why the right equipment for beginners is so important- a too small board just makes a fun activity an exercise in futility.
i try to at least take away one positive from any trip out and i will say that even though i haven't paddled much in the past few weeks, this was one time where i really felt like i was moving when i was paddling and ensuring i was digging in the water with long strokes and pulling myself forward. also, i did accomplish one really good turtle roll, didn't get dragged, wave rolled right over me, flipped back and kept paddling.
really, i just missed riding waves so much. i have been spoiled on my lessons with richard, where i am riding like 10+ waves per hour. it's kinda hard to go back now that i've had a taste of that. i really am SO HAPPY i ordered a new board that will be much more stable than what i have now.
i also made an important non-surfing related decision this weekend which was that i need to be a little more diversified in my life with my activities. i had totally uprooted my social life for surfing, which was due to general burn-out but ultimately not really healthy. so i went to my old regular haunt nightclub and went dancing, had a couple drinks, saw friends.. it felt really good. however, it also made me feel like shit the day after though i guess a saltwater dunk might have alleviated. i so wish i liked linda mar more. it just doesn't even compare to the perfection that is santa cruz :(
so i think i will try to have a lesson this saturday. this just isn't really enough surfing for my liking, but life is what it is. i just realized i'm not even sore from yesterday! maybe that's some sort of growth. i don't think i was out all that long, maybe an hour at most though. i remember i was totally annihilated for days after my first time in the ocean with a surfboard.
thinking about joining a gym so i can fill some weekday time with elliptical or something to get cardio in to try and get my stamina up for my LA trip where i want to make sure i surf at least 5/7 days. aaand i guess that's it! boring blog is boring.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
hi blog.
i've been bad at you lately.
there's just been too much to say and i've been busy at work and drained at night.
i had a real good surf lesson on sunday and then i went and ordered a new custom beefy board.
i guess after having a taste of what it's like to be constantly standing up and riding waves, the idea of flailing around on my current board doesn't hold the same allure. so i'm a little lacking in motivation right now. i'm going to manresa on saturday but have been waffling back and forth on whether or not i want to lug a board around all day with a non-surfing friend.
also i'm going to LA for a week in june for sure now and that means i really need to work on my endurance to be able to surf days in a row.
i went off the deep end diet wise and feel like a bloated piece of crap.
more later.
i've been bad at you lately.
there's just been too much to say and i've been busy at work and drained at night.
i had a real good surf lesson on sunday and then i went and ordered a new custom beefy board.
i guess after having a taste of what it's like to be constantly standing up and riding waves, the idea of flailing around on my current board doesn't hold the same allure. so i'm a little lacking in motivation right now. i'm going to manresa on saturday but have been waffling back and forth on whether or not i want to lug a board around all day with a non-surfing friend.
also i'm going to LA for a week in june for sure now and that means i really need to work on my endurance to be able to surf days in a row.
i went off the deep end diet wise and feel like a bloated piece of crap.
more later.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
weekend stokez
today i am stoked for no reason?
my teacher richard sent me a line mentioning good swell this weekend and asked if i'd like to do a lesson. even as my bank account chided me, the idea of getting to catch as many waves as i do with richard is too good to turn down! so tomorrow i'll be back in SC hopefully putting my new pop up to practice.
i saw a near new 9' walden mega magic on craigslist yesterday for $500 including bag and leash! perfect, right? i consulted richard and he said go for it if i wanted to but be sure it was what i wanted and in good condition so after much anxiety i emailed the seller and.. no response. i'm guessing that deal was snapped up pretty fast. oh well. i'm already kinda over it. honestly, that board is very popular and $1000 new so marking it down that much is kinda suspicious, tbh.
then i called ward coffey and asked if he could possibly meet sunday afternoon and he said because he's going to be jam packed soon, he would fit me in and was as gracious and nice as i could ever ask for. i can see why he has the reputation he does. i am super excited to get a CUSTOM board for ME and ME ALONE, just the way i like it with MY COLORS ( i think i want clear deck w/purple rails and red trim) and not used by any ol nasty person. lets be honest.. i'm so not an off the rack gal. haha. i am already dreaming of getting him to make me a 70's inspired (let's go with inspired- i want a board i can actually ride) design with psychedelic spray when i'm ready.
i really need some salt water in my life SOON.
plus i'm going to book my LA vacation in june which would be like hopefully 5 days straight of surfing every day, with mellow summer waves that i think would be good for someone like me.
my teacher richard sent me a line mentioning good swell this weekend and asked if i'd like to do a lesson. even as my bank account chided me, the idea of getting to catch as many waves as i do with richard is too good to turn down! so tomorrow i'll be back in SC hopefully putting my new pop up to practice.
i saw a near new 9' walden mega magic on craigslist yesterday for $500 including bag and leash! perfect, right? i consulted richard and he said go for it if i wanted to but be sure it was what i wanted and in good condition so after much anxiety i emailed the seller and.. no response. i'm guessing that deal was snapped up pretty fast. oh well. i'm already kinda over it. honestly, that board is very popular and $1000 new so marking it down that much is kinda suspicious, tbh.
then i called ward coffey and asked if he could possibly meet sunday afternoon and he said because he's going to be jam packed soon, he would fit me in and was as gracious and nice as i could ever ask for. i can see why he has the reputation he does. i am super excited to get a CUSTOM board for ME and ME ALONE, just the way i like it with MY COLORS ( i think i want clear deck w/purple rails and red trim) and not used by any ol nasty person. lets be honest.. i'm so not an off the rack gal. haha. i am already dreaming of getting him to make me a 70's inspired (let's go with inspired- i want a board i can actually ride) design with psychedelic spray when i'm ready.
i really need some salt water in my life SOON.
plus i'm going to book my LA vacation in june which would be like hopefully 5 days straight of surfing every day, with mellow summer waves that i think would be good for someone like me.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
pressing matters...
i don't know where i'm gonna surf this weekend. uh oh!
linda mar has been, like my ass, big and sloppy all week. i really don't want to repeat the bad days i've had there.
i don't think bolinas is gonna have much swell and i need some solid pushes on my board if i think i'm gonna have any chance of putting my new pop up to use.
santa cruz seems good (as always) but the 3 hour drive gets real old. i am so tired of driving!
not surfing this weekend- not an option. of course. i am actually craving paddling since i didn't do any last weekend.
i think maybe if i can come up with another reason to go to santa cruz, that would be the winner. the fact that i don't pay a toll to go there sorta nets out the cost of gas driving such a distance. maybe some time at kiva retreat? it's a pretty hippie-ish nude (ok, i clung to my towel when i went) spa house kinda thing.. but has nice grass to lay on and lots of hot tubs. it's not like, sexy at all. just relaxing. would be a treat after sore muscles and cold water. but don't know what i'd do with my board.
tough life!
linda mar has been, like my ass, big and sloppy all week. i really don't want to repeat the bad days i've had there.
i don't think bolinas is gonna have much swell and i need some solid pushes on my board if i think i'm gonna have any chance of putting my new pop up to use.
santa cruz seems good (as always) but the 3 hour drive gets real old. i am so tired of driving!
not surfing this weekend- not an option. of course. i am actually craving paddling since i didn't do any last weekend.
i think maybe if i can come up with another reason to go to santa cruz, that would be the winner. the fact that i don't pay a toll to go there sorta nets out the cost of gas driving such a distance. maybe some time at kiva retreat? it's a pretty hippie-ish nude (ok, i clung to my towel when i went) spa house kinda thing.. but has nice grass to lay on and lots of hot tubs. it's not like, sexy at all. just relaxing. would be a treat after sore muscles and cold water. but don't know what i'd do with my board.
tough life!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
hey i'm an awesome surfer! april fools.
i have noticed my mood seems to suffer greatly on weekdays- not that it was really ever good with those. i definitely tweaked my neck and shoulders to the point where i'm still feeling it nearly a week later so i'm sitting at my boring desk job physically aching and mentally aching from a lack of inspiration.
it's no secret i think i'm relying on surfing to fill a pretty sizable gap in my life. i'm over 30, alone and at times somewhat baffled as to what direction my life is heading in. i've been trying to overcome some bad, unhealthy habits and distance myself from bad, unhealthy relationships. that's a lot of pressure- no wonder i'm sinking my board!
i got a good email from my teacher encouraging me to go the local shaper route and offering to help me look for a board, the more i think about it the more i like it as i definitely like unique things that fit my aesthetic. i want to get some nice color and design- i can't resist personalization! i am thinking ward coffey is my first choice, i love his work and he seems really nice to work with. i think just packing lots of volume without all the length will do me well. i have noticed, of course, that "big guy" surfboards are a thing. hi, i'm not a guy! should i be surprised? nah. glad they're nice enough to stress again, repeatedly, that these are surfboards for men. how boring.
anyway.. trying to overcome the landlock blues as best i can.. but feeling somewhat stir crazy already.
i have noticed my mood seems to suffer greatly on weekdays- not that it was really ever good with those. i definitely tweaked my neck and shoulders to the point where i'm still feeling it nearly a week later so i'm sitting at my boring desk job physically aching and mentally aching from a lack of inspiration.
it's no secret i think i'm relying on surfing to fill a pretty sizable gap in my life. i'm over 30, alone and at times somewhat baffled as to what direction my life is heading in. i've been trying to overcome some bad, unhealthy habits and distance myself from bad, unhealthy relationships. that's a lot of pressure- no wonder i'm sinking my board!
i got a good email from my teacher encouraging me to go the local shaper route and offering to help me look for a board, the more i think about it the more i like it as i definitely like unique things that fit my aesthetic. i want to get some nice color and design- i can't resist personalization! i am thinking ward coffey is my first choice, i love his work and he seems really nice to work with. i think just packing lots of volume without all the length will do me well. i have noticed, of course, that "big guy" surfboards are a thing. hi, i'm not a guy! should i be surprised? nah. glad they're nice enough to stress again, repeatedly, that these are surfboards for men. how boring.
anyway.. trying to overcome the landlock blues as best i can.. but feeling somewhat stir crazy already.
Monday, March 30, 2015
other little snippet of thought today
goddamn point breaks rule. gentle drops, long rides, easy paddles..and less sand all over my damn car!
i need to have a summer full of lots of point break bliss and no beach break madness puh-lease. i'm already missing santa cruz.
i need to have a summer full of lots of point break bliss and no beach break madness puh-lease. i'm already missing santa cruz.
YES.
I FINALLY GOT THE POP UP TIP I NEEDED.
BACK FOOT PLANTED FIRST. BACK FOOT FIRST!
i practice dry land pop ups a LOT! my hallway has rag with a pattern down the middle that helps approximate a stringer. i had been struggling to swing my front leg forward past my gut and boobs. i don't have the power to land both feet at the same time but had been trying to swing my front leg through first. this time i tried back foot first per a video's recommendation and boom, front leg is under me! i had been trying and trying to dip my hips with no joy either.
the first time i ever attempted a pop up i thought to myself- no way can i ever do this and here i am swingin and poppin away! this is the ONLY method i've tried so far that has me landing with my feet in (close to) the proper position. i thought it was impossible!
now to program this into my muscle memory!
BACK FOOT PLANTED FIRST. BACK FOOT FIRST!
i practice dry land pop ups a LOT! my hallway has rag with a pattern down the middle that helps approximate a stringer. i had been struggling to swing my front leg forward past my gut and boobs. i don't have the power to land both feet at the same time but had been trying to swing my front leg through first. this time i tried back foot first per a video's recommendation and boom, front leg is under me! i had been trying and trying to dip my hips with no joy either.
the first time i ever attempted a pop up i thought to myself- no way can i ever do this and here i am swingin and poppin away! this is the ONLY method i've tried so far that has me landing with my feet in (close to) the proper position. i thought it was impossible!
now to program this into my muscle memory!
Sunday, March 29, 2015
one more little santa cruz snippet
while i was sitting and watching at the hook, an older mom-type lady came over and asked if i had someone out there. i said no, but i'd been out myself earlier. and she said "you? out THERE?!" and i said "well, a bit to the left, but yeah" and she could not believe i wasn't afraid of sharks? i said "nah, they don't really want to eat humans" and she shook her head and walked away.
jaws did a damn good job, i tell ya! you can't buy that kind of bad reputation.
meanwhile, i've been watching as many dolphin youtubes as i can get my hands on and i think there's a special place in hell for anyone who takes these magnificent creatures, locks them up in a pool and makes them perform tricks for greasy fingered families. i dream of surfing with a pod of dolphins almost as much as i do of performing a perfect roundhouse cutback!
jaws did a damn good job, i tell ya! you can't buy that kind of bad reputation.
meanwhile, i've been watching as many dolphin youtubes as i can get my hands on and i think there's a special place in hell for anyone who takes these magnificent creatures, locks them up in a pool and makes them perform tricks for greasy fingered families. i dream of surfing with a pod of dolphins almost as much as i do of performing a perfect roundhouse cutback!
and thus another weekend passes in this "journey"
i arrived at the east side of santa cruz in a cloud of literal fog. my brain probably matched it- i've been really tired lately and was frustrated after wednesday's disappointing session in pacifica. however i greeted richard, with the now signature token of humiliation giant 11' board awaiting. he said we were lucky to pick this time as the fog was about to burn off but most people weren't aware yet and we'd have some space in the water. there was a larger swell in town and he said we'd be sticking to whitewater over waves.
i don't have a ton of detail to share about this lesson, he pretty much towed me in (what a service) and gave me a shove and after eating shit the first two times, i managed to get to my feet every other time with varying amounts of success. now the stances i landed in were pretty bad (to me) and i was doing exactly what i knew not to do- looking down, rushing, etc. as the feeling of standing and riding waves becomes more familiar, i began to relax and it helped. a great thing about richard is that he's VERY encouraging and told me everything i was doing well 5x over anything that needed some adjustment. most waves i didn't even fall-just sat back on the board after petering out, but honestly i wish i had taken more chances with getting a good stance and not been so afraid to fall, but there were some really big rocks that intimidated me. as with last time, my last ride was my best- long and i finally was able to stand all the way up. i still felt my balancing was shaky and that giant board did a lot of help though.
richard said i really exceeded his expectations with progress and "ripped"- L O L to that! but i'm glad i got to ride so many waves and see an improvement. i know i can do much better, just have to relax and think clearly. i also wasn't winded in the slightest (then again, i was barely paddling) and i know i have strengthened in these past 3 months a lot. i left with my stoke much improved! i am so addicted, i think i will do another lesson in a couple weeks. i am hoping once i am doing well with popping up and riding, i will get some guidance for catching waves on my own. he mentioned again it would be a long time til i could ride the board i have and i'm pretty frustrated with that situation. however, not having my board on my car left me more mobile and i spent a couple hours hanging out in SC and watching the action at the hook- so many fucking drop ins! it always amazes me how even in a really big crowd, most people actually aren't that good. this just in: surfing is hard!
i mentioned to a friend today that if i knew then what i know now regarding the difficulty of surfing, i probably wouldn't have dared to try it. i'm glad i got hooked on my first wave push and am now just trying to chase the dragon. i also really didn't expect i've have such a hard time finding a suitable board of my own. i was thinking the walden mega magic would be a good idea but richard said to show it to him and he said he didn't think it was right for me and he knew local shapers (i always would prefer to support a local shaper over overseas mass produced stuff) who would make me a board for the same price but didn't specify what was the issue. i went in thinking it would be hard to find a wetsuit to fit me but not a board- meanwhile the wetsuit was a piece of cake and here i am trapped between a log and a hard place. argh. i know my skill level now suits an 11' beast but i want something i can reasonably paddle and catch waves with on weekends and settle into for awhile. shouldn't be this hard? maybe a local shaper is the right way to go- get someone to pack in ton of volume and some red and purple tint so it feels like home.
speaking of cake, my attempts to eat heathily backfired and i've been a total fucking pig these past few days. i think my shitty feelings wednesday spiralled and i've been numbing the pain with cheese and crackers. i refuse to not allow myself the joy of surfing because of my body- i am 31 years old, i have proven i can survive 1-2 hrs in the water and take some beatings. i am the happiest and most peaceful person when i can sit on foam in the pacific ocean amidst sea lions, dolphins and sparkling blue. i feel alive and exhilarated when given the gift of flight via aquatic energy. there is no reason why i shouldn't be doing this and every reason to keep going and own my future spot in the lineup.
i arrived at the east side of santa cruz in a cloud of literal fog. my brain probably matched it- i've been really tired lately and was frustrated after wednesday's disappointing session in pacifica. however i greeted richard, with the now signature token of humiliation giant 11' board awaiting. he said we were lucky to pick this time as the fog was about to burn off but most people weren't aware yet and we'd have some space in the water. there was a larger swell in town and he said we'd be sticking to whitewater over waves.
i don't have a ton of detail to share about this lesson, he pretty much towed me in (what a service) and gave me a shove and after eating shit the first two times, i managed to get to my feet every other time with varying amounts of success. now the stances i landed in were pretty bad (to me) and i was doing exactly what i knew not to do- looking down, rushing, etc. as the feeling of standing and riding waves becomes more familiar, i began to relax and it helped. a great thing about richard is that he's VERY encouraging and told me everything i was doing well 5x over anything that needed some adjustment. most waves i didn't even fall-just sat back on the board after petering out, but honestly i wish i had taken more chances with getting a good stance and not been so afraid to fall, but there were some really big rocks that intimidated me. as with last time, my last ride was my best- long and i finally was able to stand all the way up. i still felt my balancing was shaky and that giant board did a lot of help though.
richard said i really exceeded his expectations with progress and "ripped"- L O L to that! but i'm glad i got to ride so many waves and see an improvement. i know i can do much better, just have to relax and think clearly. i also wasn't winded in the slightest (then again, i was barely paddling) and i know i have strengthened in these past 3 months a lot. i left with my stoke much improved! i am so addicted, i think i will do another lesson in a couple weeks. i am hoping once i am doing well with popping up and riding, i will get some guidance for catching waves on my own. he mentioned again it would be a long time til i could ride the board i have and i'm pretty frustrated with that situation. however, not having my board on my car left me more mobile and i spent a couple hours hanging out in SC and watching the action at the hook- so many fucking drop ins! it always amazes me how even in a really big crowd, most people actually aren't that good. this just in: surfing is hard!
i mentioned to a friend today that if i knew then what i know now regarding the difficulty of surfing, i probably wouldn't have dared to try it. i'm glad i got hooked on my first wave push and am now just trying to chase the dragon. i also really didn't expect i've have such a hard time finding a suitable board of my own. i was thinking the walden mega magic would be a good idea but richard said to show it to him and he said he didn't think it was right for me and he knew local shapers (i always would prefer to support a local shaper over overseas mass produced stuff) who would make me a board for the same price but didn't specify what was the issue. i went in thinking it would be hard to find a wetsuit to fit me but not a board- meanwhile the wetsuit was a piece of cake and here i am trapped between a log and a hard place. argh. i know my skill level now suits an 11' beast but i want something i can reasonably paddle and catch waves with on weekends and settle into for awhile. shouldn't be this hard? maybe a local shaper is the right way to go- get someone to pack in ton of volume and some red and purple tint so it feels like home.
speaking of cake, my attempts to eat heathily backfired and i've been a total fucking pig these past few days. i think my shitty feelings wednesday spiralled and i've been numbing the pain with cheese and crackers. i refuse to not allow myself the joy of surfing because of my body- i am 31 years old, i have proven i can survive 1-2 hrs in the water and take some beatings. i am the happiest and most peaceful person when i can sit on foam in the pacific ocean amidst sea lions, dolphins and sparkling blue. i feel alive and exhilarated when given the gift of flight via aquatic energy. there is no reason why i shouldn't be doing this and every reason to keep going and own my future spot in the lineup.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
argh, i hurt my neck really badly somehow? maybe whiplash from getting slammed by white water?
i got a mall massage and that helped restore some mobility and i'm just sorta stiff. but could i feel more old?! goddamn surfing is hard on the body.
going to have another lesson in santa cruz on saturday. i think i'm not gonna bother bringing my board.. that way i can drive fast and park as i please! plus i want to browse the racks for bigger boards. i'm starting to feel like a walden mega magic would work well for me as my attempts to "diet" have resulted in immediate misery. i don't want to change my life, i want to enhance it. it's expensive but not ridiculous if it will make me a happier paddler and rider. i see people obsessing over riding shortboards that aren't right for them and i don't want to be the same just because my longboard is pretty.
i'm over yesterday's disappointment..there's nowhere i'd rather be than out in the water in santa cruz with the dolphins. i have to admit, i've wondered at times if i'd like SUP because ir eally enjoy just calmly laying on my board out in the water but uh, no. fuck that paddle. fuck standing up the whole time too! i did watch some pretty cool 90s bodyboarding videos today though.. when the dudes get sucked over the lip and just flip with it.. pretty sweet.. maybe someday will try it.
i got a mall massage and that helped restore some mobility and i'm just sorta stiff. but could i feel more old?! goddamn surfing is hard on the body.
going to have another lesson in santa cruz on saturday. i think i'm not gonna bother bringing my board.. that way i can drive fast and park as i please! plus i want to browse the racks for bigger boards. i'm starting to feel like a walden mega magic would work well for me as my attempts to "diet" have resulted in immediate misery. i don't want to change my life, i want to enhance it. it's expensive but not ridiculous if it will make me a happier paddler and rider. i see people obsessing over riding shortboards that aren't right for them and i don't want to be the same just because my longboard is pretty.
i'm over yesterday's disappointment..there's nowhere i'd rather be than out in the water in santa cruz with the dolphins. i have to admit, i've wondered at times if i'd like SUP because ir eally enjoy just calmly laying on my board out in the water but uh, no. fuck that paddle. fuck standing up the whole time too! i did watch some pretty cool 90s bodyboarding videos today though.. when the dudes get sucked over the lip and just flip with it.. pretty sweet.. maybe someday will try it.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
blah
today was a total flop.
i woke up at 6:30 am and was the first person to turn the lights on at work at 8. me + waking up early + work just aren't a good combo. i wasn't feeling my usual vibe even before i got to the beach.
the nice thing about the timing though, was the lack of mob scene in the water. maybe 20 heads scattered across the coast? sunday felt like 200. plenty of breathing room, however, i wish i'd trusted my initial instinct and gone for thursday, when the swell was forecast to be a little smaller. after the good behavior on sunday, linda mar was just not going my way. the paddle out seemed impossible to me and i could barely balance on my board. i repeatedly kept getting out of the water to try to find a channel or break but i kept getting tricked by lulls that lasted too little time. i finally DID manage to make it out and just kept paddling as waves were breaking pretty close inside and i just wanted a rest! it was SO choppy and rough out there so i'm glad i had a confirmation that these were some tough conditions.
getting my 9' board out through this shit just SUCKS, it's so long i don't feel like i can control it much and then when i get on it, i'm so fat that the thing just squirrels away from me. i hopped on it with me knees a few times in the white water and popped right back off. i don't think i've ever even landed on my knees before. i just wish i could catch a fucking wave! as soon as richard said my board was too small, it's been whirling and swirling in my head and i have a feeling he's right. i don't think it should be this hard on a "beginner" board. i'm thinking maybe i need to just grab a big foamy rental and see if i get as frustrated- if i can even lift the damn thing!
finally i just put an end to the misery and sulked back to my car. it's so hard seeing other people do what you want to do (and noone out there was great, just some people getting some rides and paddling smoothly) and you're just completely looking like a jackass. if someone had told me my weight would be this much of a factor, i probably wouldn't even have tried to do this. it's really really difficult to take a sore spot like this and just constantly (literally) have salt rubbed in it. either i'm going to be miserable trying to change my body to suit a board or just find a board to suit me now that i can have some fun with!
it did dawn on me that maybe i'm not taking enough chances because i really am afraid but after being pounded just trying to get out, i'm not really feeling the idea of flipping through the air with my board following me. then again, i can't even catch a wave to try. argh. i obsess too much and there is such a strong divide between all the surfing stuff i follow and my ability. it makes me feel even more useless watching pros/wannabe pros sliding around with power, grace and style. why does it have to be so hard for me? i can't even do a proper dry land pop up. maybe i'm just biting off too much.
i think i need to sleep and let this go. just a bad day. this is silly but i didn't feel connected to the ocean and that's very strange for me. usually just being out there is enough. i guess sometimes the one you love just don't want you around.
i woke up at 6:30 am and was the first person to turn the lights on at work at 8. me + waking up early + work just aren't a good combo. i wasn't feeling my usual vibe even before i got to the beach.
the nice thing about the timing though, was the lack of mob scene in the water. maybe 20 heads scattered across the coast? sunday felt like 200. plenty of breathing room, however, i wish i'd trusted my initial instinct and gone for thursday, when the swell was forecast to be a little smaller. after the good behavior on sunday, linda mar was just not going my way. the paddle out seemed impossible to me and i could barely balance on my board. i repeatedly kept getting out of the water to try to find a channel or break but i kept getting tricked by lulls that lasted too little time. i finally DID manage to make it out and just kept paddling as waves were breaking pretty close inside and i just wanted a rest! it was SO choppy and rough out there so i'm glad i had a confirmation that these were some tough conditions.
getting my 9' board out through this shit just SUCKS, it's so long i don't feel like i can control it much and then when i get on it, i'm so fat that the thing just squirrels away from me. i hopped on it with me knees a few times in the white water and popped right back off. i don't think i've ever even landed on my knees before. i just wish i could catch a fucking wave! as soon as richard said my board was too small, it's been whirling and swirling in my head and i have a feeling he's right. i don't think it should be this hard on a "beginner" board. i'm thinking maybe i need to just grab a big foamy rental and see if i get as frustrated- if i can even lift the damn thing!
finally i just put an end to the misery and sulked back to my car. it's so hard seeing other people do what you want to do (and noone out there was great, just some people getting some rides and paddling smoothly) and you're just completely looking like a jackass. if someone had told me my weight would be this much of a factor, i probably wouldn't even have tried to do this. it's really really difficult to take a sore spot like this and just constantly (literally) have salt rubbed in it. either i'm going to be miserable trying to change my body to suit a board or just find a board to suit me now that i can have some fun with!
it did dawn on me that maybe i'm not taking enough chances because i really am afraid but after being pounded just trying to get out, i'm not really feeling the idea of flipping through the air with my board following me. then again, i can't even catch a wave to try. argh. i obsess too much and there is such a strong divide between all the surfing stuff i follow and my ability. it makes me feel even more useless watching pros/wannabe pros sliding around with power, grace and style. why does it have to be so hard for me? i can't even do a proper dry land pop up. maybe i'm just biting off too much.
i think i need to sleep and let this go. just a bad day. this is silly but i didn't feel connected to the ocean and that's very strange for me. usually just being out there is enough. i guess sometimes the one you love just don't want you around.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
gratitude
i think when someone decides to undertake a challenge, it's nearly impossible to pull off without a support system. when i decided to wanted to give surfing a shot, most reactions from my friends ranged from "cool!" to "oh god" and since noone really knows what i'm talking about, noone really has an interest to hear about it. completely understandable- i don't really care about the minutia of their interests.
when i told my mom i was going to start doing this she said "do jews surf?" which tells you about the level of athleticism and adventure in my family. i do envy the groms who got to grow up in the water and probably were spurred on by an overzealous father, bringing them out into the whitewater on his old beater boards.
while i don't have that, i am very lucky to have my friend greg. he was the first surfer i ever knew and helped spur my interest with his 50 years of experience and has been encouraging all along the way. he was the first person to show me "pacific vibrations" and clue me in on 70s surfing style and still sends me emails full of boards and videos i might like to help keep me stoked and motivated. i called him crying after my second lesson where reality set in that This Wasn't Easy and he talked me out of the self hate spiral and encouraged me to keep going and is always there with the optimistic point of view i need sometimes.
this is a fairly lonely "journey"- i am pretty much always out by myself and noone really shares in any victories, failures or funny moments i have. it's not like i can fake it with an iphone for a friend out there either. i'm really lucky that i have a seasoned pal who always wants to hear how my sesh went and when the next one is going to be. i think he almost cried when i called him and said i'd finally stood up and rode a wave all the way! "only a surfer knows the feeling"
that kind of support really helps keep me motivated and i was able to shift my work schedule a bit tomorrow so i can leave a little early and get to pacifica for my first post-work sesh. i also scheduled another lesson for this weekend in santa cruz. today i was feeling like if i flexed, i felt some bicep-zone firmness that wasn't there before! i have that sorta general vibe like i'm on right on the cusp of making a good progressive leap forward and that i'm going to have a solid achievement soon in the water. might as well enjoy the rare optimism while it's there!
funny, while i was writing this, greg just texted me to say he was grateful to know me! ~vibes~ for sure. never underestimate the power of a surf buddy!
when i told my mom i was going to start doing this she said "do jews surf?" which tells you about the level of athleticism and adventure in my family. i do envy the groms who got to grow up in the water and probably were spurred on by an overzealous father, bringing them out into the whitewater on his old beater boards.
while i don't have that, i am very lucky to have my friend greg. he was the first surfer i ever knew and helped spur my interest with his 50 years of experience and has been encouraging all along the way. he was the first person to show me "pacific vibrations" and clue me in on 70s surfing style and still sends me emails full of boards and videos i might like to help keep me stoked and motivated. i called him crying after my second lesson where reality set in that This Wasn't Easy and he talked me out of the self hate spiral and encouraged me to keep going and is always there with the optimistic point of view i need sometimes.
this is a fairly lonely "journey"- i am pretty much always out by myself and noone really shares in any victories, failures or funny moments i have. it's not like i can fake it with an iphone for a friend out there either. i'm really lucky that i have a seasoned pal who always wants to hear how my sesh went and when the next one is going to be. i think he almost cried when i called him and said i'd finally stood up and rode a wave all the way! "only a surfer knows the feeling"
that kind of support really helps keep me motivated and i was able to shift my work schedule a bit tomorrow so i can leave a little early and get to pacifica for my first post-work sesh. i also scheduled another lesson for this weekend in santa cruz. today i was feeling like if i flexed, i felt some bicep-zone firmness that wasn't there before! i have that sorta general vibe like i'm on right on the cusp of making a good progressive leap forward and that i'm going to have a solid achievement soon in the water. might as well enjoy the rare optimism while it's there!
funny, while i was writing this, greg just texted me to say he was grateful to know me! ~vibes~ for sure. never underestimate the power of a surf buddy!
Monday, March 23, 2015
Sunday, March 22, 2015
seriously tho
how fucking insane must i have looked flying down the beach looking like a drenched cousin it?!
oofah.
oofah.
yesterday after my hair appointment, i went to fort point for the first time in probably 5 years to check out the surf scene after hearing many tales of extreme aggro locals. what i found was.. nothing. noone in the water. and fog blanketed the area so much you couldn't even see the golden gate bridge. the breadth of legroom was likely for good reason as i only saw a few waves though a couple looked rideable. pretty interesting viewpoint from where i was sitting (on dry land), right up close to where the left breaks. i'm sure that's the closest i'll ever come to waves there- the boulder filled perimeter isn't really inviting, i can barely walk over sand without twisting my ankle.
today i am immensely thankful for surfing (more than usual) because i had 3 different social activities planned this weekend and all of them fell through- ok, i chose sleep over one- but i knew i could still go to the ocean and be happy.
i woke up later than i hoped and checked the tides, while the high tide at ~1 pm made me think i should go on the later side as the water and crowds drained but i was feeling antsy and decided to just leave at 10:30. it was MOBBED. just a sea of black dots in the water from end to end as i drove up made exclaim out loud.
still, i found a parking spot and hit the water around quarter to noon. it proved to be a pretty easy paddle out with the tide getting higher and waves breaking close to shore. since there were waves of consequence, i headed towards the more south end of linda mar and tried to readjust to my board, since i hadn't ridden it in 2 weeks. ever think something is fine until someone tells you it's wrong and then all you can see is the wrong? kinda the case here. once my coach told me my board isn't big enough, i really got attuned to the difficulty of paddling it and staying balanced. even so, i soldiered on and used lull time to paddle north to south, etc. i also practiced going from prone to sitting to prone etc and noted some better balancing. so not quite the easy glide of my practice barge, but i was making some stuff happen. i noted that i have to get my fitness up to where i can paddle and paddle and paddle and not need so much rest time.
it was really foggy and kinda dark and at one point, gently raining but for the mob out, there were lots of good vibes and hooting for the people getting rides. and as usual, there were tons of people paddling for every waves but the same people actually getting up and riding them over and over. all hell kinda breaks loose when a place is this crowded and i definitely had some uneasiness about the cluster of hard boards all around me. i have a stress level at linda mar that i've never felt in santa cruz, i guess because i don't know enough to be able to read a beach break. i just feel like i never know what it's gonna do but when i look back and see a big wave coming and everyone paddling, i move! i got a big push off a breaking wave of which the combo of wind and water caused my hair to entirely cover my face so not only was i flying at speed towards shore in a mass of bodies and boards, i couldn't see ANYTHING and it was pretty fucking scary as i spend the whole ride bracing for a slam instead of trying to achieve anything. it took two more times for this to happen to realize that from now on, my hair goes up in the water.
i'm pretty amazed that will all my kookiness (i also managed to put my wetsuit on over the tank top i was wearing over my bathing suit and was too lazy to fix that) that i didn't get hurt today, honestly. waves were about waist to neck high and one shove caused my board to fly out from my hands and land, fins down, about a half-foot from my face. i did have one good white water push where i actually managed to get to my knees, a first for this board. i think if i hadn't been so crowded and if i could have.. been able to see, i could have done at least some more knee rides and maybe the bravery to try to stand on my board today.
eventually the fog burned off, along with the wax on my board. when it kept sliding out from me and i realized i no longer had the energy to fight, i regretfully decided it was time to go in after, but i really had fun and felt like i worked hard. i am going to schedule another lesson for the weekend, i think. i really did miss santa cruz and i want to catch and stand up on more waves but i know all this work i'm putting in on paddling and balancing will pay off.
because i'm petty, if i'm going out at the same time as someone else in the parking lot, i generally like to check and see who lasted longer in the water. this time it was 3 youngins who seemed to know what they were doing and indeed, they were packed and gone by the time i hauled in. bwaha! actually, i always win this game somehow? i guess it helps that my fat ass keeps me insulated.
i really really really want to make a mid-week session happen but i'm kinda nervous about storing my board while at work and my job just sucks the life out of me. 1x per week just doesn't seem like enough. but i happily burned off all the misery brewing in me and found some stoke today for sure.
today i am immensely thankful for surfing (more than usual) because i had 3 different social activities planned this weekend and all of them fell through- ok, i chose sleep over one- but i knew i could still go to the ocean and be happy.
i woke up later than i hoped and checked the tides, while the high tide at ~1 pm made me think i should go on the later side as the water and crowds drained but i was feeling antsy and decided to just leave at 10:30. it was MOBBED. just a sea of black dots in the water from end to end as i drove up made exclaim out loud.
still, i found a parking spot and hit the water around quarter to noon. it proved to be a pretty easy paddle out with the tide getting higher and waves breaking close to shore. since there were waves of consequence, i headed towards the more south end of linda mar and tried to readjust to my board, since i hadn't ridden it in 2 weeks. ever think something is fine until someone tells you it's wrong and then all you can see is the wrong? kinda the case here. once my coach told me my board isn't big enough, i really got attuned to the difficulty of paddling it and staying balanced. even so, i soldiered on and used lull time to paddle north to south, etc. i also practiced going from prone to sitting to prone etc and noted some better balancing. so not quite the easy glide of my practice barge, but i was making some stuff happen. i noted that i have to get my fitness up to where i can paddle and paddle and paddle and not need so much rest time.
it was really foggy and kinda dark and at one point, gently raining but for the mob out, there were lots of good vibes and hooting for the people getting rides. and as usual, there were tons of people paddling for every waves but the same people actually getting up and riding them over and over. all hell kinda breaks loose when a place is this crowded and i definitely had some uneasiness about the cluster of hard boards all around me. i have a stress level at linda mar that i've never felt in santa cruz, i guess because i don't know enough to be able to read a beach break. i just feel like i never know what it's gonna do but when i look back and see a big wave coming and everyone paddling, i move! i got a big push off a breaking wave of which the combo of wind and water caused my hair to entirely cover my face so not only was i flying at speed towards shore in a mass of bodies and boards, i couldn't see ANYTHING and it was pretty fucking scary as i spend the whole ride bracing for a slam instead of trying to achieve anything. it took two more times for this to happen to realize that from now on, my hair goes up in the water.
i'm pretty amazed that will all my kookiness (i also managed to put my wetsuit on over the tank top i was wearing over my bathing suit and was too lazy to fix that) that i didn't get hurt today, honestly. waves were about waist to neck high and one shove caused my board to fly out from my hands and land, fins down, about a half-foot from my face. i did have one good white water push where i actually managed to get to my knees, a first for this board. i think if i hadn't been so crowded and if i could have.. been able to see, i could have done at least some more knee rides and maybe the bravery to try to stand on my board today.
eventually the fog burned off, along with the wax on my board. when it kept sliding out from me and i realized i no longer had the energy to fight, i regretfully decided it was time to go in after, but i really had fun and felt like i worked hard. i am going to schedule another lesson for the weekend, i think. i really did miss santa cruz and i want to catch and stand up on more waves but i know all this work i'm putting in on paddling and balancing will pay off.
because i'm petty, if i'm going out at the same time as someone else in the parking lot, i generally like to check and see who lasted longer in the water. this time it was 3 youngins who seemed to know what they were doing and indeed, they were packed and gone by the time i hauled in. bwaha! actually, i always win this game somehow? i guess it helps that my fat ass keeps me insulated.
i really really really want to make a mid-week session happen but i'm kinda nervous about storing my board while at work and my job just sucks the life out of me. 1x per week just doesn't seem like enough. but i happily burned off all the misery brewing in me and found some stoke today for sure.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
life has sorta gotten in the way of much active pursuit of stoke this week- have been feeling sorta lethargic and unfocused.
i have been doing pop-ups every night. i can honestly say the "aussie sprinter" method works a lot better for me but i still try the "real" way too. of course, the rug in my hallway is a lot different than a surfboard. just still trying to get that muscle memory going.
i'm getting my gray hair covered up today at the salon so no water time for me.. tomorrow i will likely be hitting up pacifica in the afternoon. it's sorely needed. and that's all i've got to say about that!
i have been doing pop-ups every night. i can honestly say the "aussie sprinter" method works a lot better for me but i still try the "real" way too. of course, the rug in my hallway is a lot different than a surfboard. just still trying to get that muscle memory going.
i'm getting my gray hair covered up today at the salon so no water time for me.. tomorrow i will likely be hitting up pacifica in the afternoon. it's sorely needed. and that's all i've got to say about that!
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
boo.
okay, next week i am throwing down a challenge to myself! UP at 6 and to the beach before work!
my sad wednesdays are becoming the norm.
i am always amazed at how problem and carefree i feel once i'm out in the ocean. on land? yuck.
my sad wednesdays are becoming the norm.
i am always amazed at how problem and carefree i feel once i'm out in the ocean. on land? yuck.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
assignment for this week
-practice 10 pop ups in a row every evening
-try the yoga surfing youtube weds night
need to maintain my pump. ha.
-try the yoga surfing youtube weds night
need to maintain my pump. ha.
Monday, March 16, 2015
the first
i think i have been somewhat putting off writing this because i feel like i have so much to say and i didn't even know where to start. i guess first i'll jot down the details of my lesson.
i had to "dump" the original surf coach i contacted and i didn't hear back from the other people i e-mailed so friday led me down a google path and i am happy to say my new surf coach, richard, is a winner! FINALLY, someone in the surf industry has worked out for me. in retrospect, i'm pretty bummed at how my first two lessons went with my original guy- i think he had really good intentions but no idea how to teach someone to surf as i spent the majority of two hours getting thrown off the board and bobbing around in the ocean without a clue and that's all we really did.
initially i was really let down when richard said that my board would not work for our lesson and at 9 ft, it was too short for me. i mean, i spent a lot on that thing and i'm really attached to it at this point. i think at a certain point, surfers go through so many boards that they forget the initial monogamous relationship! i don't think i could let go of this board! i saw us going all the way together! he said to bring it down anyway though and honestly, i knew he was very experienced so i just wanted to listen to what he said. there was a high school surf contest going on at the hook, which actually helped because traffic and parking were really easy. i met up with richard in the parking lot and he looked over my board and said he would prefer we use the one he had for the lesson, which turned out to be an 11' enormous block of foam. HUMBLING. haha. we brought my board too and he used it and quickly went over the basics of surfing and popping up, which i pretty much knew and went right in the water and started going for waves!
obviously, the experience on the mega floaty board was way different. i could actually feel myself speedily paddling the thing and sitting up on it was like nothing. i got some good pointers on sitting far back on the board while sitting up in order to rotate quickly to catch oncoming waves and richard pointed out everything going on in the ocean and with the surfers around us. luckily, there were maybe 6 other people there? some young girls, some older guys on SUPs, you get the idea. so right off he says we're gonna catch waves and ride them, like, REAL waves and wow i was blown away just by that. so first i was kinda lying down, then i kinda tried going to my knees and fell, then i got to my knees, then i tried standing and fell.. my coach was REALLY encouraging and kept telling me i was doing great and i really barely had time to question stuff, which is good for neurotic mind! i mean the board was HUGE and really stable but i mentally had to get over the barrier/fear of the unknown with standing up.
kinda silly right? i've been working for months towards this goal and i didn't even know if i'd like it! the crazy thing was that the conditions were SO good and the rides were SO LONG and fun. it was seriously a blast just being out there. i saw my first dolphin out in the water! so i started getting tired and i had the luxury of being towed in by richard (take that, laird! human surf taxis!) instead of having to keep paddling out so a good wave came and i could feel that burst of speed and it just kept going so i took my sweet time getting up the nerve and i stood and rode the wave! YAY!! i thought i was going to pass out from the adrenaline! it was SO RAD! like conquering nature and flying over water! i was in total shock and apparently looking around like i couldn't believe it! haha. i definitely think part of me thought it would never happen.
so after the big moment came, he said we shoudl go out on a high note. the hour flew by! and i'm glad we did, because i didn't realize how tired i was until we had to climb 4 flights of stairs to get up to the parking lot and i was like barely alive but just like so running on stoke it was ridiculous.
i realize that like... the average person does get up and stand their first lesson but this wasn't crumbly little white water like most people go in! real awesome point break wave! richard said a million times i did great and gave me a congratulatory hug and i could tell he was really happy for me that i got to finally actually "surf" a wave. we talked some more about my board and he said he could see that i couldn't really carry or store a bigger board and it would just take a lot of time for me to be able to surf my board. can't lie- i'm bummed. i have gotten REALLY terrible advice from surf shops- and it doesn't even make sense bc big boards are more expensive! more money! i can't believe some dudes tried to sell me a 7'8" board! i mean, guys over 200 lbs surf 6' boards so i don't think it's crazy that a size 16 woman can surf a 9' board.
at least i got a taste of the rewards to come and i think if i keep up a monthly lesson or so, i can work on real surfing stuff w/richard and then on weekends go out on my board and keep trying to build fitness and paddling strength. i'm definitely NOT there and get tired too quickly. our lesson was really fast paced (total money's worth!) but i do enjoy just sitting outside on my board and enjoying floating away from the world.
my hesitation in standing, even on basically a foam barge, definitely taught me that i don't fully believe in myself. i should have been going all the way on EVERY wave. i should have been trying to stand up EVERY time. i practice pop-ups every day and it totally flew out of my head because of my fear.. of looking stupid? i always look stupid. all beginners look stupid. hell, even pros look stupid sometimes. fear of falling into water? nope. falling into water is nothing. so what is it? i think it's ultimately i feel like i don't belong in the surfing world and i'm waiting for something to prove it to me. i am used to dreaming big and then being let down by reality. it really makes me sad but i think every time i get in the water and keep going, the more i can shake off the past and prove to myself that i can come through.
i had to "dump" the original surf coach i contacted and i didn't hear back from the other people i e-mailed so friday led me down a google path and i am happy to say my new surf coach, richard, is a winner! FINALLY, someone in the surf industry has worked out for me. in retrospect, i'm pretty bummed at how my first two lessons went with my original guy- i think he had really good intentions but no idea how to teach someone to surf as i spent the majority of two hours getting thrown off the board and bobbing around in the ocean without a clue and that's all we really did.
initially i was really let down when richard said that my board would not work for our lesson and at 9 ft, it was too short for me. i mean, i spent a lot on that thing and i'm really attached to it at this point. i think at a certain point, surfers go through so many boards that they forget the initial monogamous relationship! i don't think i could let go of this board! i saw us going all the way together! he said to bring it down anyway though and honestly, i knew he was very experienced so i just wanted to listen to what he said. there was a high school surf contest going on at the hook, which actually helped because traffic and parking were really easy. i met up with richard in the parking lot and he looked over my board and said he would prefer we use the one he had for the lesson, which turned out to be an 11' enormous block of foam. HUMBLING. haha. we brought my board too and he used it and quickly went over the basics of surfing and popping up, which i pretty much knew and went right in the water and started going for waves!
obviously, the experience on the mega floaty board was way different. i could actually feel myself speedily paddling the thing and sitting up on it was like nothing. i got some good pointers on sitting far back on the board while sitting up in order to rotate quickly to catch oncoming waves and richard pointed out everything going on in the ocean and with the surfers around us. luckily, there were maybe 6 other people there? some young girls, some older guys on SUPs, you get the idea. so right off he says we're gonna catch waves and ride them, like, REAL waves and wow i was blown away just by that. so first i was kinda lying down, then i kinda tried going to my knees and fell, then i got to my knees, then i tried standing and fell.. my coach was REALLY encouraging and kept telling me i was doing great and i really barely had time to question stuff, which is good for neurotic mind! i mean the board was HUGE and really stable but i mentally had to get over the barrier/fear of the unknown with standing up.
kinda silly right? i've been working for months towards this goal and i didn't even know if i'd like it! the crazy thing was that the conditions were SO good and the rides were SO LONG and fun. it was seriously a blast just being out there. i saw my first dolphin out in the water! so i started getting tired and i had the luxury of being towed in by richard (take that, laird! human surf taxis!) instead of having to keep paddling out so a good wave came and i could feel that burst of speed and it just kept going so i took my sweet time getting up the nerve and i stood and rode the wave! YAY!! i thought i was going to pass out from the adrenaline! it was SO RAD! like conquering nature and flying over water! i was in total shock and apparently looking around like i couldn't believe it! haha. i definitely think part of me thought it would never happen.
so after the big moment came, he said we shoudl go out on a high note. the hour flew by! and i'm glad we did, because i didn't realize how tired i was until we had to climb 4 flights of stairs to get up to the parking lot and i was like barely alive but just like so running on stoke it was ridiculous.
i realize that like... the average person does get up and stand their first lesson but this wasn't crumbly little white water like most people go in! real awesome point break wave! richard said a million times i did great and gave me a congratulatory hug and i could tell he was really happy for me that i got to finally actually "surf" a wave. we talked some more about my board and he said he could see that i couldn't really carry or store a bigger board and it would just take a lot of time for me to be able to surf my board. can't lie- i'm bummed. i have gotten REALLY terrible advice from surf shops- and it doesn't even make sense bc big boards are more expensive! more money! i can't believe some dudes tried to sell me a 7'8" board! i mean, guys over 200 lbs surf 6' boards so i don't think it's crazy that a size 16 woman can surf a 9' board.
at least i got a taste of the rewards to come and i think if i keep up a monthly lesson or so, i can work on real surfing stuff w/richard and then on weekends go out on my board and keep trying to build fitness and paddling strength. i'm definitely NOT there and get tired too quickly. our lesson was really fast paced (total money's worth!) but i do enjoy just sitting outside on my board and enjoying floating away from the world.
my hesitation in standing, even on basically a foam barge, definitely taught me that i don't fully believe in myself. i should have been going all the way on EVERY wave. i should have been trying to stand up EVERY time. i practice pop-ups every day and it totally flew out of my head because of my fear.. of looking stupid? i always look stupid. all beginners look stupid. hell, even pros look stupid sometimes. fear of falling into water? nope. falling into water is nothing. so what is it? i think it's ultimately i feel like i don't belong in the surfing world and i'm waiting for something to prove it to me. i am used to dreaming big and then being let down by reality. it really makes me sad but i think every time i get in the water and keep going, the more i can shake off the past and prove to myself that i can come through.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Saturday, March 14, 2015
what a rush
i don't know what happened, i woke up this morning in a bad mood and just knew i wouldn't be going out to the water today. i've had some bad lady-cramps and am just feeling hormonally cranky and slept like shit. i think i finally got out of bed around noon and committed to doing some chores i'd been putting off. a glimpse at linda mar via cam showed i wasn't missing much.
i also wanted to conserve my energy for my lesson tomorrow but again, i haven't heard from my teacher about when and where to meet. he said he'd check the swells and text me. he didn't sound like a flake but i have pretty much hit my limit when it comes to chasing down people.
at least today i got to watch "point break" which was about 50000x more amazing than i thought i'd be and i lost track of how many times i cracked up laughing at all the surf brah speak. the scene where the grom at the surf shop is all "wow, good for you, late start" about keanu picking up surfing at 25 resonated pretty well. apparently they are making a remake of this movie, set to be released this year. if only surfing was full of all the scraggly haired, bong rippin spicolis they showed! i'm trying to think if i've EVER seen a long haired (past shoulder length) surfer in the water firsthand. i saw one old guy with a ponytail. that's it. surfers in 2015 are athletic squares! i don't know how you top the original movie, man. you just can't beat swayze.
anyway, i'm feeling sorta down and i wonder if it's because of lack of water time today. hopefully it passes and i won't feel so harshed on my lack of ability just cuz johnny utah got tubed after just a few months.
i also wanted to conserve my energy for my lesson tomorrow but again, i haven't heard from my teacher about when and where to meet. he said he'd check the swells and text me. he didn't sound like a flake but i have pretty much hit my limit when it comes to chasing down people.
at least today i got to watch "point break" which was about 50000x more amazing than i thought i'd be and i lost track of how many times i cracked up laughing at all the surf brah speak. the scene where the grom at the surf shop is all "wow, good for you, late start" about keanu picking up surfing at 25 resonated pretty well. apparently they are making a remake of this movie, set to be released this year. if only surfing was full of all the scraggly haired, bong rippin spicolis they showed! i'm trying to think if i've EVER seen a long haired (past shoulder length) surfer in the water firsthand. i saw one old guy with a ponytail. that's it. surfers in 2015 are athletic squares! i don't know how you top the original movie, man. you just can't beat swayze.
anyway, i'm feeling sorta down and i wonder if it's because of lack of water time today. hopefully it passes and i won't feel so harshed on my lack of ability just cuz johnny utah got tubed after just a few months.
Friday, March 13, 2015
barrels of fun
Uncontestable from SURFING Magazine on Vimeo.
wow! finally a surf video with music that's cool. nat young from santa cruz with the crazy drop at about 2:50!
i so need to see a wave like this in person (from the shore) before i die.
yay! i reached out to another santa cruz surf coach and he responded very quickly and we spoke and it sounds like i'll be able to do a lesson on sunday! he seemed very experienced and knowledgeable and i'm excited at the thought of really accomplishing something in the water this weekend!
no, wait, i have fun and see beautiful things no matter what. that is always an accomplishment :)
tonight i am trying to see if i can stave off sleep long enough to watch the finals of the duct tape invitational! watching the semi-finals was awesome. the best loggers in the world doing their thang! the actual "tricks" of longboarding aren't the most exciting to watch but it's more of the style and grace of the riders that becomes mesmerizing.
i don't want to be too tired/sore for my lesson sunday so might have a short session tomorrow depending on crowds. i think it's still important to maintain a 2x/week schedule at the minimum no matter what.
no, wait, i have fun and see beautiful things no matter what. that is always an accomplishment :)
tonight i am trying to see if i can stave off sleep long enough to watch the finals of the duct tape invitational! watching the semi-finals was awesome. the best loggers in the world doing their thang! the actual "tricks" of longboarding aren't the most exciting to watch but it's more of the style and grace of the riders that becomes mesmerizing.
i don't want to be too tired/sore for my lesson sunday so might have a short session tomorrow depending on crowds. i think it's still important to maintain a 2x/week schedule at the minimum no matter what.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
ugh
16 emails with this guy and i cannot get a surf lesson booked. i think it's time for me to move on, as communication is a fundamental of coaching and if the communication out of the water isn't working, it doesn't give me strong hope for the water. that's a shame because his school seemed pretty professional? but i get enough grief dealing with men in my life personally!
i have contacted another coach with a stellar reputation and twice the price tag in hopes he'll be worth it. i have been told he's pretty much always out working with students and came highly recommended at freeline. also, he's got a pretty structured program that lists out levels of progression and one level actually names noseriding and that alone has me excited to work with someone who has an interest to teach longboarding maneuvers. i am positive that a background in longboarding makes a much more stylish and graceful shortboard ride.
either way, my own research as to why i'm not catching waves has given me things to work on this weekend. i think i'm the trifecta of failure- just a bit too far back on the board, too far on the shoulder and not paddling fast enough. i also need to work on the smooth transition from spinning the board forward while sitting up to get in position.
watching the live stream of the joel tudor duct tape invitational at noosa before i go to sleep.. alex knost is nose riding a board through close out sections that i doubt most surfers could make at the back of the board! there is some absolutely masterful single fin action going on in this heat. so much inspiration!
i have contacted another coach with a stellar reputation and twice the price tag in hopes he'll be worth it. i have been told he's pretty much always out working with students and came highly recommended at freeline. also, he's got a pretty structured program that lists out levels of progression and one level actually names noseriding and that alone has me excited to work with someone who has an interest to teach longboarding maneuvers. i am positive that a background in longboarding makes a much more stylish and graceful shortboard ride.
either way, my own research as to why i'm not catching waves has given me things to work on this weekend. i think i'm the trifecta of failure- just a bit too far back on the board, too far on the shoulder and not paddling fast enough. i also need to work on the smooth transition from spinning the board forward while sitting up to get in position.
watching the live stream of the joel tudor duct tape invitational at noosa before i go to sleep.. alex knost is nose riding a board through close out sections that i doubt most surfers could make at the back of the board! there is some absolutely masterful single fin action going on in this heat. so much inspiration!
plowed
i might be thinking about surfing too much. on my commute home tonight, my route was the shockingly traffic-free one while all surrounding vehicles were showing major brake light action and i thought "oooh, a channel!"
anyway, finally over the hump and it'll soon be the time that matters most. i am more happy than ever to drift off! at this point in my life i'm not sure anything too good can come from feet on the ground.
however, conditions in these parts have been pretty rough, to say the least. and not in a step up way. flat and disorganized, much like your mama. i'm sure there will be something to work with and at the very least, get more water time, work on fitness, etc.
i think i have a surfing lesson saturday afternoon in santa cruz? i tried to get the guy to set a time with me and "saturday afternoon" was the best answer i got after 12 emails. if not, i am pretty happy to get a break from serious drives.
on a surfing forum i have been frequenting, a santa cruz area photographer posted photos he took of a day at pleasure point. i instantly filled with horror at the idea of being photographed flailing in the ocean in a shiny neoprene catsuit but i thought it was interesting because of the representation amongst genders, ages and body types. i always feel like the only person with a gut out there. there were some big boys getting rides and having fun.. what it's all about. more inspiration for me to get out there and show it can be done.
anyway, finally over the hump and it'll soon be the time that matters most. i am more happy than ever to drift off! at this point in my life i'm not sure anything too good can come from feet on the ground.
however, conditions in these parts have been pretty rough, to say the least. and not in a step up way. flat and disorganized, much like your mama. i'm sure there will be something to work with and at the very least, get more water time, work on fitness, etc.
i think i have a surfing lesson saturday afternoon in santa cruz? i tried to get the guy to set a time with me and "saturday afternoon" was the best answer i got after 12 emails. if not, i am pretty happy to get a break from serious drives.
on a surfing forum i have been frequenting, a santa cruz area photographer posted photos he took of a day at pleasure point. i instantly filled with horror at the idea of being photographed flailing in the ocean in a shiny neoprene catsuit but i thought it was interesting because of the representation amongst genders, ages and body types. i always feel like the only person with a gut out there. there were some big boys getting rides and having fun.. what it's all about. more inspiration for me to get out there and show it can be done.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
super session:zboys pools and jay adams
skateboarding has NEVER appealed to me (concrete? ouch) but this vid is pretty cool. i got to go to venice area recently while it was real quiet and there were definitely some vibes imagining what it used to be like.
i have seen some surf coaches recommend skateboards to people working on their turns. i really don't think i could get on one without panicking. i do love the episode of charlie's angels where farrah skateboards tho..
yay 70s.
Monday, March 9, 2015
some thoughts on revivalism..
i made the mistake of googling alex knost just a bit too much and as i feared, the personality is pretty obnoxious and reminiscent of people i try to avoid in oakland. i still love his surfing but it seems he's the poster child for some kind of retro hipster movement going on in surfing that seemed to be based out of brooklyn? i certainly don't see it here.
my tastes have long skewed towards a 60s/70s sensibility so it seems fitting i would be drawn towards an era of surfing rooted in that time period where feel and natural style were emphasized over athletic prowess.
i have to admit, i cringed just a bit at watching surf edit movies that were exactly trying to replicate surf videos of that era through vintage effect (or vintage) film. i really could barely get through one video sponsored by mollusk. i also fucking hate burger records music! i don't know AK or his friends, obviously, but i still believe there is a way to achieve authenticity in spirit without exactly replicating the past. even moreso, i question a true "soul surfer" who has a line of clothing, fins, boards, sponsorship by RVCA and a band to promote.. i read an interview with ford archbold in which he primarily talked about beer, drugs and hot chicks. how exactly are these bleach streaked long hairs really so different as their jocked out enemies? different look, same shit. much as the current trend of psychedelic-hippie-garage-freako revivalism in music, it tends to fall in an ego-shaped pile when i start poking holes at it.
that said, i think his talent speaks for itself and i still get excited to see this type of stylish single fin riding get some attention. it also speaks to what you can accomplish on a shorter board when you are already an accomplished longboarder in terms of style and relying on the wave.
i think my true surfing heroes are not the guys you'll see in any sponsored fancy pants edit.. who's got room or time for a fancy camera in the water, just go surf! groovy long hair may be lacking but someone like dane reynolds, even if he does sick airs or whatever, provides a more intriguing persona over all..
my tastes have long skewed towards a 60s/70s sensibility so it seems fitting i would be drawn towards an era of surfing rooted in that time period where feel and natural style were emphasized over athletic prowess.
i have to admit, i cringed just a bit at watching surf edit movies that were exactly trying to replicate surf videos of that era through vintage effect (or vintage) film. i really could barely get through one video sponsored by mollusk. i also fucking hate burger records music! i don't know AK or his friends, obviously, but i still believe there is a way to achieve authenticity in spirit without exactly replicating the past. even moreso, i question a true "soul surfer" who has a line of clothing, fins, boards, sponsorship by RVCA and a band to promote.. i read an interview with ford archbold in which he primarily talked about beer, drugs and hot chicks. how exactly are these bleach streaked long hairs really so different as their jocked out enemies? different look, same shit. much as the current trend of psychedelic-hippie-garage-freako revivalism in music, it tends to fall in an ego-shaped pile when i start poking holes at it.
that said, i think his talent speaks for itself and i still get excited to see this type of stylish single fin riding get some attention. it also speaks to what you can accomplish on a shorter board when you are already an accomplished longboarder in terms of style and relying on the wave.
i think my true surfing heroes are not the guys you'll see in any sponsored fancy pants edit.. who's got room or time for a fancy camera in the water, just go surf! groovy long hair may be lacking but someone like dane reynolds, even if he does sick airs or whatever, provides a more intriguing persona over all..
fuck it, it's my blog, one more
Alex Knost {South Swell / California} from Matt Grote on Vimeo.
as long as i don't read anything about this guy's personality, which i'm sure is a hipster nightmare, i will continue to obsess over alex knost's style and skills. GOALS GOALS GOALS. fucking look at this!! why would you want to do anything else!! THINK LIKE ME.
and one more
yes.. the pacific vibrations are strong with this one..no doubt, this is my favorite style of surfing. goals.
joel tudor shortboard
speaking of longboarding revivalists.. awesome style here.. smooth! also would be so much better with groovier music.
live like jay
as much as i think surfing monster waves at mavericks takes enormous bravery, a 16 year old boy in 1994 santa cruz entering a longboard contest surely deserves some sort of recognition as well. hell, i can barely imagine it today. there's a reason the "live like jay" motto is inspiring and insightful.
(this video is best with music off and bookended with some gnarly mavericks footage. what a guy!)
(this video is best with music off and bookended with some gnarly mavericks footage. what a guy!)
Sunday, March 8, 2015
a few more thoughts i want to digitally jot down
-i think i am an official Sunscreen Paranoid. i fear sun damage to my skin more than anything this side of jaws and take pride in my creamy pallor. i think i'd probably put a thick layer of white on my face if i ever went night surfing, just to be sure.
-my post-beach hair is pretty dope. no wonder women spend time and money on tools and products to make their hair look "effortlessly beachy" because actual beach hair takes some solid effort.
-it's nice that you can go surf alone and noone questions your lack of company. really nice.
-as i was getting out of the water, i thought to myself "as my skills (ideally) progress, i hope i can be as happy without catching any waves as i am now. this is the lowest standard i'm ever gonna have so might as well revel in it"
-fresh ice water is astoundingly good after ocean time. i think my eyes rolled back into my head just from drinking water that tasted good.
-feeling people check out my bloated form in my clingy drenched wetsuit is always a nice ego deflation
-there seem to be a LOT of french people who come here to surf
-it's 9pm? fuck this time change!
-my post-beach hair is pretty dope. no wonder women spend time and money on tools and products to make their hair look "effortlessly beachy" because actual beach hair takes some solid effort.
-it's nice that you can go surf alone and noone questions your lack of company. really nice.
-as i was getting out of the water, i thought to myself "as my skills (ideally) progress, i hope i can be as happy without catching any waves as i am now. this is the lowest standard i'm ever gonna have so might as well revel in it"
-fresh ice water is astoundingly good after ocean time. i think my eyes rolled back into my head just from drinking water that tasted good.
-feeling people check out my bloated form in my clingy drenched wetsuit is always a nice ego deflation
-there seem to be a LOT of french people who come here to surf
-it's 9pm? fuck this time change!
spring forward
i have never in my life looked forward to the clocks moving.. forward. less sleep, more daylight? not goth friendly. however, this time there were benefits to be reaped.. one more precious hour to be out in the ocean!
initially today, it seemed like it might not matter. i woke up tired and sore with a big list of chores to get done. i checked on linda mar and it looked like a freakin' ant pile! yikes! so i decided to just go about my day, do as much as i could and get some downtime. luckily, the tides were on my side forecasting a low tide at around 7 so getting there at 4 seemed ideal to avoid crowds and the 1 pm high tide that generally turns LM into a lake in my experience.
it was sunny and WARM out in the east bay. i was somehow shocked when i made the turn on the freeway and saw a thick layer of fog over the coast. the 2nd parking lot was roomy and the cooler, grey atmosphere definitely spoke to my preferred beach aesthetic even though my wax was softened from the heat. the crowd had definitely thinned and the presence of rental shop boards was nil. my arms were sore just waxing my board but the waves looked small and i could actually see some lulls.
of course, the lulls subsided as soon as i tried to get in the water. i had been defeated at my last attempt at getting outside at LM and it initially seemed like it would repeat. the channel i initially saw shifted and i pretty much got smashed and experienced a hellish turtle roll gone awry that saw me dragged underwater and pushed like i'd just caught a wave in shitty bizarro world.
then i finally got smart and decided to just walk down the beach to the calmer side and like magic, a light lull came and i was able to paddle outside. it took some time but yay! in fact, a long lull came but the water was REALLY choppy. choppier than i think i ever experienced for being outside the breaking waves. i focused on feeling steady in the sitting position and tried my best to sit without using my hands to hold the board and got my longest time sitting up without falling so far! in fact, it was almost a meditative state.. so incredibly peaceful, away from all technology and things, just looking out in the water and then back into the foggy coast. everyone else was sitting much further in so it felt like for a minute, i had the ocean to myself.
waves started coming again and i decided i should work on trying to finally catch one. i experimented with my positioning on the board but the closest i came was sorta feeling like i caught one before falling back off it. i was feeling hesitant getting back around people and never really put myself in a great spot for the waves, i think. again, i think it's time for me to consult someone more knowledged to figure out why i can't even get on a wave and i'm glad i am.
i wasn't really tired but i started having that "feeling futile, time to go" feeling and when i got to my car, saw i'd logged a solid hour and a half. nice! especially since i'd been out the day before. my arms and shoulders feel worked! so glad i got in the water again. it really does recharge my soul.
of note:
-at one point i was entirely surrounded by wavestorms. christ, people! of course, they were mostly better than me. i tried to tell myself i'd probably paddle better on a giant hunk of foam too but probably not.
-it's nice to be around people who aren't that good at surfing.
-putting my weight forward on the board was notably helpful to punch through white water without getting blown off. i still got blown off a lot though.
-the board bag greg gave me has made lugging my board up to my apartment much more pleasant
-i got my wetsuit on REALLY quickly and without a plastic bag! i think it's stretched some. it was really flushed when i got out too :( body, contour into a smaller size soon!
initially today, it seemed like it might not matter. i woke up tired and sore with a big list of chores to get done. i checked on linda mar and it looked like a freakin' ant pile! yikes! so i decided to just go about my day, do as much as i could and get some downtime. luckily, the tides were on my side forecasting a low tide at around 7 so getting there at 4 seemed ideal to avoid crowds and the 1 pm high tide that generally turns LM into a lake in my experience.
it was sunny and WARM out in the east bay. i was somehow shocked when i made the turn on the freeway and saw a thick layer of fog over the coast. the 2nd parking lot was roomy and the cooler, grey atmosphere definitely spoke to my preferred beach aesthetic even though my wax was softened from the heat. the crowd had definitely thinned and the presence of rental shop boards was nil. my arms were sore just waxing my board but the waves looked small and i could actually see some lulls.
of course, the lulls subsided as soon as i tried to get in the water. i had been defeated at my last attempt at getting outside at LM and it initially seemed like it would repeat. the channel i initially saw shifted and i pretty much got smashed and experienced a hellish turtle roll gone awry that saw me dragged underwater and pushed like i'd just caught a wave in shitty bizarro world.
then i finally got smart and decided to just walk down the beach to the calmer side and like magic, a light lull came and i was able to paddle outside. it took some time but yay! in fact, a long lull came but the water was REALLY choppy. choppier than i think i ever experienced for being outside the breaking waves. i focused on feeling steady in the sitting position and tried my best to sit without using my hands to hold the board and got my longest time sitting up without falling so far! in fact, it was almost a meditative state.. so incredibly peaceful, away from all technology and things, just looking out in the water and then back into the foggy coast. everyone else was sitting much further in so it felt like for a minute, i had the ocean to myself.
waves started coming again and i decided i should work on trying to finally catch one. i experimented with my positioning on the board but the closest i came was sorta feeling like i caught one before falling back off it. i was feeling hesitant getting back around people and never really put myself in a great spot for the waves, i think. again, i think it's time for me to consult someone more knowledged to figure out why i can't even get on a wave and i'm glad i am.
i wasn't really tired but i started having that "feeling futile, time to go" feeling and when i got to my car, saw i'd logged a solid hour and a half. nice! especially since i'd been out the day before. my arms and shoulders feel worked! so glad i got in the water again. it really does recharge my soul.
of note:
-at one point i was entirely surrounded by wavestorms. christ, people! of course, they were mostly better than me. i tried to tell myself i'd probably paddle better on a giant hunk of foam too but probably not.
-it's nice to be around people who aren't that good at surfing.
-putting my weight forward on the board was notably helpful to punch through white water without getting blown off. i still got blown off a lot though.
-the board bag greg gave me has made lugging my board up to my apartment much more pleasant
-i got my wetsuit on REALLY quickly and without a plastic bag! i think it's stretched some. it was really flushed when i got out too :( body, contour into a smaller size soon!
Saturday, March 7, 2015
and a note to self
next time you go out, DRINK LOTS OF WATER BEFORE. LOTS. 1 drive through diet coke doesn't cut it. i was absolutely parched by the time i got back to my car. you forget to keep hydrated while exercising in.. water but it really runs you down.
at least i finally ate before going out, i had 1 plain biscuit from jack in the box (what a diet) before i hit the road and it satiated me and i wasn't queasy in the water like i have been at times. so from now on, something small, carby, an hour+ before surf time. and lots of water!
at least i finally ate before going out, i had 1 plain biscuit from jack in the box (what a diet) before i hit the road and it satiated me and i wasn't queasy in the water like i have been at times. so from now on, something small, carby, an hour+ before surf time. and lots of water!
weekend wussier
today is just what the stoke doctor ordered. i got up early (i have reverse goth hours now, it's so weird) and was on the road by 8 am headed south. i parked on 34th ave, suited up (i swear it's getting somewhat easier. the plastic bag and well fitting suit help i think) and descended the much more forgiving "jack's house" stairs.
the goal of today was lots of paddle time and i got it! the water was very calm and shimmering brightly under the morning sun. i joined a small pack of teenagers and older guys, half of whom were on wavestorms and generally laid on my board and occasionally sat up and very occasionally failed at catching the handful of that waves that rolled through. sea lions surfaced and dove again in somewhat close proximity. and that was it! the tide started filling in and i felt like i was losing some stamina in paddling, plus i had plans. those huge rocks at the cliffs' edges are not something you want to meet head-on.
after that, i met my new friend brian, his wife liz and their friend james at a local cafe for a nice brunch and some surf chat. sooo nice to get to talk locally about surfing! they all loved my board, which of course made me such a proud parent. then i grabbed some purple zinc and a new "sex wax" towel at freeline. ps noone actually uses sex wax (i use sticky bumps) and i just needed a towel.
sadly, there was one downside to today. this was my first time out with my "board buddy" surfboard handle and as promised, my board did neatly fit under my arm for the first time and it was a longer walk to the water. however, somehow the board felt heavier in it? so i couldn't fully go one armed without some support. also, i thought just dropping it off on the edge of one of the cliffs would be fair enough, i've left shoes and whatnot on the beach and found them undisturbed plus i stash my keys, etc. when i returned, the board buddy was gone. id on't know if some water smacked it down or if someone just got themselves a cool new $47 toy. sucks. first time out. this brings me to the primary issue i had with it- what the hell do you do with the thing in the water? besides the fact that i didn't really feel like it was that much of a help carrying the board (i just put the thing on my head on the way back) i am going to say i do not recommend the board buddy unless you have someone to hold onto it before you surf. $47 for a surfboard handle was stupid anyway as once i avoided the scary 38th ave stairs, my light epoxy board wasn't that much of an issue.
you live and learn and i realized i need to buy a proper lockbox for my keys because santa cruz is just too much of a sketchy surfing town. i could have likely gotten away with all that in pacifica. because of this, i was really afraid to keep my board out of my sight so i lugged it over to the hook, which wasn't doing much and just watched some little waves for awhile before i called it a day and was home by 4. so a pretty solid day.
honestly though, the sheer amount of costco boards out in the water kinda bummed me out. i guess i should be glad, as they are less likely to hurt me when another person rides them and what do i care what someone else rides? i dunno, they're just kinda soulless and the lineup has a lot less personality when everyone's on the same hunk of $99 foam. i know the price point is irresistible.
it was HOT out though. thank god for the super cold water! that is definitely one of my favorite things about surfing! activity without sweat. i'm now relaxing with sore arms. i desperately need more water time to build up some strength- my last two punishing sessions did me no favors in paddle practice. linda mar conditions have been better so hopefully will get in tomorrow afternoon just to keep getting water time in. i wish SC wasn't so far but it definitely felt like a bit of a shlep. plus i have my lesson next weekend! i am super stoked to get some serious instruction time in. i saw my future teacher with a student- you def wanna see someone who's working a lot! no repeating the last mistake!
i wonder what i would have done with my day instead. i felt truly lucky as i drove through the redwood lined freeway.. how many people even have access to surfable waves in this country? crazy crazy blessing.
the goal of today was lots of paddle time and i got it! the water was very calm and shimmering brightly under the morning sun. i joined a small pack of teenagers and older guys, half of whom were on wavestorms and generally laid on my board and occasionally sat up and very occasionally failed at catching the handful of that waves that rolled through. sea lions surfaced and dove again in somewhat close proximity. and that was it! the tide started filling in and i felt like i was losing some stamina in paddling, plus i had plans. those huge rocks at the cliffs' edges are not something you want to meet head-on.
after that, i met my new friend brian, his wife liz and their friend james at a local cafe for a nice brunch and some surf chat. sooo nice to get to talk locally about surfing! they all loved my board, which of course made me such a proud parent. then i grabbed some purple zinc and a new "sex wax" towel at freeline. ps noone actually uses sex wax (i use sticky bumps) and i just needed a towel.
sadly, there was one downside to today. this was my first time out with my "board buddy" surfboard handle and as promised, my board did neatly fit under my arm for the first time and it was a longer walk to the water. however, somehow the board felt heavier in it? so i couldn't fully go one armed without some support. also, i thought just dropping it off on the edge of one of the cliffs would be fair enough, i've left shoes and whatnot on the beach and found them undisturbed plus i stash my keys, etc. when i returned, the board buddy was gone. id on't know if some water smacked it down or if someone just got themselves a cool new $47 toy. sucks. first time out. this brings me to the primary issue i had with it- what the hell do you do with the thing in the water? besides the fact that i didn't really feel like it was that much of a help carrying the board (i just put the thing on my head on the way back) i am going to say i do not recommend the board buddy unless you have someone to hold onto it before you surf. $47 for a surfboard handle was stupid anyway as once i avoided the scary 38th ave stairs, my light epoxy board wasn't that much of an issue.
you live and learn and i realized i need to buy a proper lockbox for my keys because santa cruz is just too much of a sketchy surfing town. i could have likely gotten away with all that in pacifica. because of this, i was really afraid to keep my board out of my sight so i lugged it over to the hook, which wasn't doing much and just watched some little waves for awhile before i called it a day and was home by 4. so a pretty solid day.
honestly though, the sheer amount of costco boards out in the water kinda bummed me out. i guess i should be glad, as they are less likely to hurt me when another person rides them and what do i care what someone else rides? i dunno, they're just kinda soulless and the lineup has a lot less personality when everyone's on the same hunk of $99 foam. i know the price point is irresistible.
it was HOT out though. thank god for the super cold water! that is definitely one of my favorite things about surfing! activity without sweat. i'm now relaxing with sore arms. i desperately need more water time to build up some strength- my last two punishing sessions did me no favors in paddle practice. linda mar conditions have been better so hopefully will get in tomorrow afternoon just to keep getting water time in. i wish SC wasn't so far but it definitely felt like a bit of a shlep. plus i have my lesson next weekend! i am super stoked to get some serious instruction time in. i saw my future teacher with a student- you def wanna see someone who's working a lot! no repeating the last mistake!
i wonder what i would have done with my day instead. i felt truly lucky as i drove through the redwood lined freeway.. how many people even have access to surfable waves in this country? crazy crazy blessing.
Friday, March 6, 2015
weekend forecast
i have to say, i feel nearly as sunny as the weather outside my window! i'm still a little sniffly but my energy is there and i'm absolutely eager to get back in the water.
tomorrow i will heading down to santa cruz for a morning session at 38th ave, then breaking for brunch with my online surfing buddy brian, his wife and perhaps another friend of theirs also new to surfing and maybe heading out again. the conditions are looking really ideal and lovely and i can't wait to get in the forgiving water down there and get some solid paddle time and bond with my board.
sunday i have some things to do but should be able to head out to pacifica in the afternoon if i'm craving more water time. it's looking a lot better at Linda Mar than at recent times. jam packed on the cam at 10:30 this morning! does noone work? :)
i decided that i'm probably at the point of time invested vs results where another try with a surf instructor would be helpful so i contacted local SC former pro bud freitas. he's sick so we couldn't make tomorrow work but we're planning for the weekend after. he has a lot of experience teaching and seems to have a lot of enthusiasm to help me get where i want to be. fingers crossed! i've also been recommended julie cox a couple times but she's a bit more expensive (though being a female longboarder is 2 major points) so we'll see. an instructor can never do the work that practice does but i do believe in getting tips and advice to help get to the next level when you don't have the time to figure it out.
also realizing the price of a surf lesson is close to the cost of a plane ticket down south, in april i'm planning to take a day trip down there to borrow greg's barge of a surfboard and hit up some malibu spots and down some tacos and then be back in time to sleep in my own memory foam!
sigh, i love surfing eve. my mental game is back strong!
tomorrow i will heading down to santa cruz for a morning session at 38th ave, then breaking for brunch with my online surfing buddy brian, his wife and perhaps another friend of theirs also new to surfing and maybe heading out again. the conditions are looking really ideal and lovely and i can't wait to get in the forgiving water down there and get some solid paddle time and bond with my board.
sunday i have some things to do but should be able to head out to pacifica in the afternoon if i'm craving more water time. it's looking a lot better at Linda Mar than at recent times. jam packed on the cam at 10:30 this morning! does noone work? :)
i decided that i'm probably at the point of time invested vs results where another try with a surf instructor would be helpful so i contacted local SC former pro bud freitas. he's sick so we couldn't make tomorrow work but we're planning for the weekend after. he has a lot of experience teaching and seems to have a lot of enthusiasm to help me get where i want to be. fingers crossed! i've also been recommended julie cox a couple times but she's a bit more expensive (though being a female longboarder is 2 major points) so we'll see. an instructor can never do the work that practice does but i do believe in getting tips and advice to help get to the next level when you don't have the time to figure it out.
also realizing the price of a surf lesson is close to the cost of a plane ticket down south, in april i'm planning to take a day trip down there to borrow greg's barge of a surfboard and hit up some malibu spots and down some tacos and then be back in time to sleep in my own memory foam!
sigh, i love surfing eve. my mental game is back strong!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Pauline Ado - San Clemente, CA
i like her style and grace even when she's throwing lots of spray! cool vid.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
read this post today about female surfing
https://griffithreview.com/articles/is-it-hard-to-surf-with-boobs/
this really hit home
When I finally took up surfing in my thirties, I struggled. It's a difficult sport to master; you need strength, agility, a willingness to suspend fear, and most of all, time. Unlike my adolescent self, I now possessed little of these things: not as fit, sometimes pregnant, always busy, and restrained by an overbuilt sense of caution. Many times as I was swept down a beach in churning white water, arms aching, face full of snot and seaweed, having failed to even make it out to where the waves break, I would start ruminating on those wasted adolescent hours sitting on the beach. Why didn't I learn to surf when I was young? I was athletic, loved sport, and secretly thought sunbaking tedious; no one ever told me I wasn't allowed to, I just never thought to try. Eventually, I realised why. As American activist Marian Wright Edelman said: 'You can't be what you can't see.'
(except i was never athletic)
i get really bummed out watching old- and new-surf clips and you only see gratuitous shots of girls on the shore in their bikinis. thank god it's too cold up here for bikinis, generally.
https://griffithreview.com/articles/is-it-hard-to-surf-with-boobs/
this really hit home
When I finally took up surfing in my thirties, I struggled. It's a difficult sport to master; you need strength, agility, a willingness to suspend fear, and most of all, time. Unlike my adolescent self, I now possessed little of these things: not as fit, sometimes pregnant, always busy, and restrained by an overbuilt sense of caution. Many times as I was swept down a beach in churning white water, arms aching, face full of snot and seaweed, having failed to even make it out to where the waves break, I would start ruminating on those wasted adolescent hours sitting on the beach. Why didn't I learn to surf when I was young? I was athletic, loved sport, and secretly thought sunbaking tedious; no one ever told me I wasn't allowed to, I just never thought to try. Eventually, I realised why. As American activist Marian Wright Edelman said: 'You can't be what you can't see.'
(except i was never athletic)
i get really bummed out watching old- and new-surf clips and you only see gratuitous shots of girls on the shore in their bikinis. thank god it's too cold up here for bikinis, generally.
helpful info/turtle rolls on a longboard
the surf simply surf camp has by far the best surfing tutorials on youtube but somehow this one isn't listed-going over my recent beach break frustration in paddling out resulting in me remembering that turtle rolls exist and i should have been doing them instead of accepting defeat as i would have been lounging around on the outside with fauna instead of on shore huffing and puffing. i had attempted some half ass versions of this technique before and as i see on this tutorial, completely doing them wrong anyway.
http://s51.podbean.com/pb/a89bb9e99d8919de0f803d6373d8e2cb/54f78801/data1/blogs18/273417/uploads/05PaddlingOutOnALongboard.mp4
good takeways-
-hang your body down from the board when underwater, don't hug it
-push the board against the surface when it's flipped over
-use the momentum of the board flipping back up to propel yourself back on and immediately start paddling again
mastering this technique may help make surfing at beach breaks like Linda Mar, which don't have an obvious path around the breaking inside waves, much more enjoyable and frequent for me.
the tip on scooting your arms forward when pressing up through waves also helped as i found my board was popping out in front of me as described
http://s51.podbean.com/pb/a89bb9e99d8919de0f803d6373d8e2cb/54f78801/data1/blogs18/273417/uploads/05PaddlingOutOnALongboard.mp4
good takeways-
-hang your body down from the board when underwater, don't hug it
-push the board against the surface when it's flipped over
-use the momentum of the board flipping back up to propel yourself back on and immediately start paddling again
mastering this technique may help make surfing at beach breaks like Linda Mar, which don't have an obvious path around the breaking inside waves, much more enjoyable and frequent for me.
the tip on scooting your arms forward when pressing up through waves also helped as i found my board was popping out in front of me as described
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
ok, this is pretty much my dream board
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Lightning-Bolt-Black-Widow-Model-Round-Tail-Single-Fin-Surfboard-Graham-Smith-/221700071877?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item339e5aa1c5
70s style single fin lightning bolt hand shaped BLACK BOARD
i'm so obsessed with 70s style "short"boards and riding style!! i hope a board like this is available in a couple years :( SO PERFECT. SO COOL. i want to glide around in some black shorty shorts on this thing!
Monday, March 2, 2015
dear self
if you want to not be bummed out, stop reading testimonials of other people's surf lessons because everyone seems to stand up on their first try!
there is literally a school in santa cruz where they attach a handlebar to your back and a dude will come LIFT YOU UP while you ride whitewater so you can say you stood on a surfboard. i certainly don't want that. yikes.
that said, i am considering taking another surf lesson with an instructor in santa cruz (not that one) because i just don't think my initial lessons were effective at all. he showed me what a pop up was (i already knew) then said "don't worry about it" when i said i couldn't do what he was doing, then took me out into the water and watched me fall off his giant spongey foam board (def not a soft top) while trying to just get on it. i said i wasn't comfortable with the board because it felt really too big and floatey and i couldn't get my legs around it so he offered to teach me on a short board and we went back in after i grabbed a rental and i fell off that some more trying to sit up. he also mentioned what a duck dive and turtle roll were but mostly i just recall sitting in the water saying "should i be doing something?" but i had a nice time hanging with the teacher and his gf in the parking lot after.
the second lesson, he mostly said he was upset because he missed his girlfriend then took me back out in the water on a proper rental soft top and i had more luck balancing on it and paddling. while i paddled around, he got on his board and rode some waves and then i asked again if i should be doing or working on anything? we got trapped in a really bad rocky part of the beach and i struggled so badly to walk my board in i almost had a panic attack! so we finally went in the white water with the other students and after a few communication misfires of what iw as supposed to be doing, i was too exhausted to do anything but roll off. i said thanks for the help, but i was gonna pass on future lessons. ..aaand now i feel too awkward to hire another pacifica area teacher because that guy hangs out there a lot and seems pretty sensitive. he does always say hi to me when i've seen him but i can say i have had the exact same experience going out on mine sans the stress of feeling like someone was monitoring me. i get really really frustrated and embarrassed.
the teacher was a nice enough guy and didn't charge too much but he was new to surf instruction and i think i would have preferred someone more communicative, upbeat and descriptive. there are some excellent online tutorials that really put theory to practice but they come from $$$$ costa rica surf camps. being able to surf and being able to teach are certainly two different skill sets. i think it was useful to have someone bring me out because the first time you get in the water on a surfboard, it's truly shocking at how difficult and harsh it can be. and it seems like most people really are self-taught through experience.
i'm thinking another, more seasoned coach in SC might be the way to go. it's a much nicer place to learn as well with numerous true beginner spots. maybe just another lesson or two so i don't feel so lost? it was really nice when greg went out with me at el porto with a giant board and helped tell me what to do. then again a surf lesson is about the price of a plane ticket to LA, ha!
hi, it's monday and i'm already frantic for a weekend in the water. hi, i overthink everything.
there is literally a school in santa cruz where they attach a handlebar to your back and a dude will come LIFT YOU UP while you ride whitewater so you can say you stood on a surfboard. i certainly don't want that. yikes.
that said, i am considering taking another surf lesson with an instructor in santa cruz (not that one) because i just don't think my initial lessons were effective at all. he showed me what a pop up was (i already knew) then said "don't worry about it" when i said i couldn't do what he was doing, then took me out into the water and watched me fall off his giant spongey foam board (def not a soft top) while trying to just get on it. i said i wasn't comfortable with the board because it felt really too big and floatey and i couldn't get my legs around it so he offered to teach me on a short board and we went back in after i grabbed a rental and i fell off that some more trying to sit up. he also mentioned what a duck dive and turtle roll were but mostly i just recall sitting in the water saying "should i be doing something?" but i had a nice time hanging with the teacher and his gf in the parking lot after.
the second lesson, he mostly said he was upset because he missed his girlfriend then took me back out in the water on a proper rental soft top and i had more luck balancing on it and paddling. while i paddled around, he got on his board and rode some waves and then i asked again if i should be doing or working on anything? we got trapped in a really bad rocky part of the beach and i struggled so badly to walk my board in i almost had a panic attack! so we finally went in the white water with the other students and after a few communication misfires of what iw as supposed to be doing, i was too exhausted to do anything but roll off. i said thanks for the help, but i was gonna pass on future lessons. ..aaand now i feel too awkward to hire another pacifica area teacher because that guy hangs out there a lot and seems pretty sensitive. he does always say hi to me when i've seen him but i can say i have had the exact same experience going out on mine sans the stress of feeling like someone was monitoring me. i get really really frustrated and embarrassed.
the teacher was a nice enough guy and didn't charge too much but he was new to surf instruction and i think i would have preferred someone more communicative, upbeat and descriptive. there are some excellent online tutorials that really put theory to practice but they come from $$$$ costa rica surf camps. being able to surf and being able to teach are certainly two different skill sets. i think it was useful to have someone bring me out because the first time you get in the water on a surfboard, it's truly shocking at how difficult and harsh it can be. and it seems like most people really are self-taught through experience.
i'm thinking another, more seasoned coach in SC might be the way to go. it's a much nicer place to learn as well with numerous true beginner spots. maybe just another lesson or two so i don't feel so lost? it was really nice when greg went out with me at el porto with a giant board and helped tell me what to do. then again a surf lesson is about the price of a plane ticket to LA, ha!
hi, it's monday and i'm already frantic for a weekend in the water. hi, i overthink everything.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
THIS IS SO SO SO RAD
70s footage of surfers at fort point and ocean beach including getting arrested at fort point, which was closed to surfers back then. bow down
landlocked
being away from the water on a beautiful day like today is pretty sad but as i thought, my energy just isn't up.
today i addressed an issue with one of my car tires which of course, brought up issues with the other tires on the car which meant i got to watch money sail away from my bank account. is that watersport-esque? the whole time i was thinking "I CANT HAVE ANYTHING GO WRONG WITH MY CAR WHILE MY BOARD IS ON IT!!"
i'm a little attached to my board.
the surf cams showed enviable sunny, glassy, shimmering water but generally SC was flat and Linda Mar looked to be spreading its usual wave of punishing froth across its entire entrance. pleasure point was a nice view as about a dozen or so riders were out and a couple of them making really nice use of hardly chest high peaks. cowells also seemed to be housing a less crowded pack, which again made me feel i was missing out as i've really just been craving lots of paddle time to strengthen my arms. it seems even 38th ave is now breaking into some pretty longboard friendly rides- i feel as if i've been up all day and it's only 1:30! it just looks like a glorious day to be in the ocean. sigh.
i'm intensely jealous watching all the relaxed room in the water! in santa cruz! on a sunday! it's just so beautiful out there and i'm in bed, coughing after a visit to east oakland and a grilled chicken sandwich from wendy's.
i finally ordered a "board buddy" surfboard carrier, which sounds nerdy as hell but is basically a handle for extending my puny wingspan so i can carry my board one-handed under my arm with a lot more control. pretty expensive for what it is but i feel kooky as hell struggling to manage my board just out of the water.
i'm also interested in getting a "surf jimmy" which is like..a much sturdier version of putting a plastic bag on your feet to slide up your wetsuit. the plastic bags REALLY help but tear easily and make me feel like an eco-terrorist just having them around me in california. at only $8, seems like an easy investment.
the last item on my surf shopping dreamlist (besides actual surf ability) are hard racks for my car but so far, i've been pleasantly surprised at the sturdiness on the block soft racks and even a dodo like me can install them. keeping it below 60 mph isn't that fun though.
pretty much every central/norcal spot is showing a "green light" on surfline so i suspect this morning's spaciousness won't last. and now i see 6 people taking off on one wave at cowells. today is the kind of day i needed- one that has me frothing and totally pumped to get back at it next weekend.
today i addressed an issue with one of my car tires which of course, brought up issues with the other tires on the car which meant i got to watch money sail away from my bank account. is that watersport-esque? the whole time i was thinking "I CANT HAVE ANYTHING GO WRONG WITH MY CAR WHILE MY BOARD IS ON IT!!"
i'm a little attached to my board.
the surf cams showed enviable sunny, glassy, shimmering water but generally SC was flat and Linda Mar looked to be spreading its usual wave of punishing froth across its entire entrance. pleasure point was a nice view as about a dozen or so riders were out and a couple of them making really nice use of hardly chest high peaks. cowells also seemed to be housing a less crowded pack, which again made me feel i was missing out as i've really just been craving lots of paddle time to strengthen my arms. it seems even 38th ave is now breaking into some pretty longboard friendly rides- i feel as if i've been up all day and it's only 1:30! it just looks like a glorious day to be in the ocean. sigh.
i'm intensely jealous watching all the relaxed room in the water! in santa cruz! on a sunday! it's just so beautiful out there and i'm in bed, coughing after a visit to east oakland and a grilled chicken sandwich from wendy's.
i finally ordered a "board buddy" surfboard carrier, which sounds nerdy as hell but is basically a handle for extending my puny wingspan so i can carry my board one-handed under my arm with a lot more control. pretty expensive for what it is but i feel kooky as hell struggling to manage my board just out of the water.
i'm also interested in getting a "surf jimmy" which is like..a much sturdier version of putting a plastic bag on your feet to slide up your wetsuit. the plastic bags REALLY help but tear easily and make me feel like an eco-terrorist just having them around me in california. at only $8, seems like an easy investment.
the last item on my surf shopping dreamlist (besides actual surf ability) are hard racks for my car but so far, i've been pleasantly surprised at the sturdiness on the block soft racks and even a dodo like me can install them. keeping it below 60 mph isn't that fun though.
pretty much every central/norcal spot is showing a "green light" on surfline so i suspect this morning's spaciousness won't last. and now i see 6 people taking off on one wave at cowells. today is the kind of day i needed- one that has me frothing and totally pumped to get back at it next weekend.
sunday decided
i'm still not feeling very well- my chest muscles are aching from days of coughing and my energy isn't where i'd like it to be.
santa cruz is flat but linda mar is actually "fair"- 3-5ft, slower at high tide, i'm actually seeing opportunities where one could paddle out. it seems others are aware as i'm seeing a good amount of bodies in the water bobbing around at the south end already. it's already incredibly beautiful out, even just the surfline cam is amazing. what sights i get to see!
however the idea of loading up and crossing a bridge and tugging on neoprene just isn't calling to me like it usually does. i'm just plain TIRED and i've got noone to pick up the slack at home while i'm traipsing around falling off a surfboard. so i'm going to respect that and look forward to a solid time next weekend.
i feel really guilty and lame about taking just a day off- ha. i've been corresponding with a guy who lives in santa cruz- he's about my age but has been surfing for 4 years. he started off when he couldn't even swim! now he pretty solidly surfs about 4x week, catches decent waves and rides down the line, etc. he is self taught and admitted he had times where he'd take weekends or even months off due to frustrations in progress. but he eventually went back and that's how it's got to be!
i NEVER want to feel like this a job or something i'm not having fun with. it's come dangerously close to not being fun as i started invading my experience with questions and expectations. lying on foam in the ocean should always be magic. so for now, i'm gonna have some absent time to let my heart grow fonder and my body recover like it's telling me it wants to.
santa cruz is flat but linda mar is actually "fair"- 3-5ft, slower at high tide, i'm actually seeing opportunities where one could paddle out. it seems others are aware as i'm seeing a good amount of bodies in the water bobbing around at the south end already. it's already incredibly beautiful out, even just the surfline cam is amazing. what sights i get to see!
however the idea of loading up and crossing a bridge and tugging on neoprene just isn't calling to me like it usually does. i'm just plain TIRED and i've got noone to pick up the slack at home while i'm traipsing around falling off a surfboard. so i'm going to respect that and look forward to a solid time next weekend.
i feel really guilty and lame about taking just a day off- ha. i've been corresponding with a guy who lives in santa cruz- he's about my age but has been surfing for 4 years. he started off when he couldn't even swim! now he pretty solidly surfs about 4x week, catches decent waves and rides down the line, etc. he is self taught and admitted he had times where he'd take weekends or even months off due to frustrations in progress. but he eventually went back and that's how it's got to be!
i NEVER want to feel like this a job or something i'm not having fun with. it's come dangerously close to not being fun as i started invading my experience with questions and expectations. lying on foam in the ocean should always be magic. so for now, i'm gonna have some absent time to let my heart grow fonder and my body recover like it's telling me it wants to.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
sunday decisions
i'm in desperate need of some stoke.
i finally have my own board and suit and i feel like i haven't properly done them justice.
being a weekend warrior kinda sucks. i think a lot of people get frustrated with surfing because of how reliant you are on conditions- every wave and every day is different and i've only got 2 days to make it count.
today i headed out to what i guess is my "local"- linda mar in pacifica. this spot is designated as a beginner break, but for the life of me, i really don't know why other than it's easy to get to from SF and it sucks. it gets very crowded and gets a crowd of tourists on rented soft tops and.. shortboarders. guess which group actually rides waves? actually i think i've rarely seen that many completed rides there. it's a pretty spot and can be really beautiful to relax slightly outside of the lineup and gaze back at the city. surfline reported poor conditions and yeah, it was harsh. relentless powerful closeout garbage just repeatedly knocked me off my board at any attempts to paddle. not that i wanted to paddle out too far because there were some waves getting scary close to about neck high on some riders. so, as usual, i looked like a total dipshit, chased my board a few times and caught a couple belly rides in the white water. attempts at even getting to my knees were met with a quick reintroduction to sand.
my beautiful 9' longboard is decently wide and fairly thick. at my weight, something around the 10' mark would probably be more stable and easier but my apartment and baby limbs disagree. i hated lugging around a heavy giant foam rental board but i did have a few moments of missing the extra confidence.
i think a relentless, pitchy beach break like pacifica is never going to give me much joy on my epoxy longboard. but it's easy to get to and i think in better conditions, it wouldn't be so challenging to get outside and work on paddling and catching waves.
i'd like another chance tomorrow, so the pros and cons of pacifica are clear. 2 more choices.
-santa cruz: pros- i love it, there's numerous beginner friendly breaks with easy paddles and catchably waves, it feels like a real getaway and there is endless amount of surfing stuff to check out in town. cons- it's been basically flat there all weekend. it's a near 2 hour drive and i'd have to go slow with the soft racks and board on my car. the worn out algae steps down 38th ave genuinely terrify me and i'm afraid of dinging my board on the rocks until i can get something to help me carry it as it doesn't fit under my arm.
-bolinas: pros- again, i love it there. if it's breaking, it's reportedly a really good LB friendly beginner break and i love the cafe in town. beautiful drive. cons- it's also far and might not be breaking. have never surfed there before and not exactly sure where to go and if it is breaking, could be crowded and hard to park. at least my board is very light so walking with it on my hip for a bit isn't too bad. surfline is calling it flat tomorrow.
i guess i'll be checking reports in the morning and making the call. my gut is saying wait for a better SC weekend. next weekend looks slightly better. i guess the other choice is to not surf at all, hit up a yoga class, catch up on the mountain of laundry i have and actually go inside a grocery store and purchase things. it's hard to write off a weekend where i feel like i didn't accomplish too much joy in the water though..
i finally have my own board and suit and i feel like i haven't properly done them justice.
being a weekend warrior kinda sucks. i think a lot of people get frustrated with surfing because of how reliant you are on conditions- every wave and every day is different and i've only got 2 days to make it count.
today i headed out to what i guess is my "local"- linda mar in pacifica. this spot is designated as a beginner break, but for the life of me, i really don't know why other than it's easy to get to from SF and it sucks. it gets very crowded and gets a crowd of tourists on rented soft tops and.. shortboarders. guess which group actually rides waves? actually i think i've rarely seen that many completed rides there. it's a pretty spot and can be really beautiful to relax slightly outside of the lineup and gaze back at the city. surfline reported poor conditions and yeah, it was harsh. relentless powerful closeout garbage just repeatedly knocked me off my board at any attempts to paddle. not that i wanted to paddle out too far because there were some waves getting scary close to about neck high on some riders. so, as usual, i looked like a total dipshit, chased my board a few times and caught a couple belly rides in the white water. attempts at even getting to my knees were met with a quick reintroduction to sand.
my beautiful 9' longboard is decently wide and fairly thick. at my weight, something around the 10' mark would probably be more stable and easier but my apartment and baby limbs disagree. i hated lugging around a heavy giant foam rental board but i did have a few moments of missing the extra confidence.
i think a relentless, pitchy beach break like pacifica is never going to give me much joy on my epoxy longboard. but it's easy to get to and i think in better conditions, it wouldn't be so challenging to get outside and work on paddling and catching waves.
i'd like another chance tomorrow, so the pros and cons of pacifica are clear. 2 more choices.
-santa cruz: pros- i love it, there's numerous beginner friendly breaks with easy paddles and catchably waves, it feels like a real getaway and there is endless amount of surfing stuff to check out in town. cons- it's been basically flat there all weekend. it's a near 2 hour drive and i'd have to go slow with the soft racks and board on my car. the worn out algae steps down 38th ave genuinely terrify me and i'm afraid of dinging my board on the rocks until i can get something to help me carry it as it doesn't fit under my arm.
-bolinas: pros- again, i love it there. if it's breaking, it's reportedly a really good LB friendly beginner break and i love the cafe in town. beautiful drive. cons- it's also far and might not be breaking. have never surfed there before and not exactly sure where to go and if it is breaking, could be crowded and hard to park. at least my board is very light so walking with it on my hip for a bit isn't too bad. surfline is calling it flat tomorrow.
i guess i'll be checking reports in the morning and making the call. my gut is saying wait for a better SC weekend. next weekend looks slightly better. i guess the other choice is to not surf at all, hit up a yoga class, catch up on the mountain of laundry i have and actually go inside a grocery store and purchase things. it's hard to write off a weekend where i feel like i didn't accomplish too much joy in the water though..
where i'm at
i'm almost at the 2 month mark from the first time i donned neoprene. i'm sitting in my apartment alone on a saturday night eating tacos and feeling vague frustration so i thought i'd map it all out in my head (aka my computer):
i keep having this feeling in my head like i suck more than anyone else who has ever attempted surfing because for all the reading and studying and obsessing i do, i have still never stood up on a surfboard and i feel like a chode for it. EVEN THOUGH LOGICALLY I KNOW IT IS VERY HARD!
the majority of people who stand up right away pay a surf instructor or camp who push them into gentle whitewater waves on giant 10ft foam boards. or they're children. and they get a picture of it for their instagram (the amount of surf teachers who offer photographers is astounding!) and that's it.
it's just embarrassing to know i haven't even the most basic chump move. i have discovered in this "journey" how many self-esteem issues and insecurities are coming out when i have to do something relying mostly on physical presence. lots of deep seated stuff from being a kid and feeling physically lesser than my friends in all ways. i always the least able in gymnastics, the most out of breath in soccer, the slowest runner.. always made to feel like my body couldn't do things but i was a good student and a quick wit. i wonder how much of that stuff as a kid would have happened if i already hadn't had a mental block that my body was too fat (thanks ma!) and thus a liability. i don't have any memories of a time in my life where i wasn't ashamed of my body, not one of being a kid and not horribly self conscious, and that makes me pretty sad.
so i guess picking up one of the most challenging and physical activities to do was pretty smart, right? the slightest failure or difficulty in the surfing world has been bringing all of this to the surface and i've had some moments of real pain at feeling like i don't, uh, "fit" in.
even though i have not stood on a surfboard yet, i would like to take the time to think of stuff i have done since my first time out in the water.
-i have gone to a beach every single weekend this year and seen beautiful sights while also getting out of my apartment and away from screens
-i have felt extremely lucky and fortunate to live in california. i was getting really tired of the bay area and SF itself is kind of a shitshow but i feel like i live in a new world, practically. i spend so much time at insanely beautiful places which is truly aesthetically orgasmic after a week in cubeland. central-to-norcal in particular is just amazing with all the cliffs and dramatic breaks and i'm less than 2 hours away from world class surfing in santa cruz.
-i have made healthy decisions. i started doing yoga and while not dieting, have felt less of a draw towards unhealthy foods that would weigh me down and make me feel just yucky in the water. also the surfing process and travel has given me less time to eat. i also have barely had any alcohol and stopped almost all of my drug use. i go to sleep early and tend to wake up earlier.
-i no longer have felt the need to put so much effort into my physical appearance. there are no mirrors at the beach. i spend very little time on my hair and makeup and my weekend wear has shifted to whatever feels the best post-wetsuit. i used to spend up to around 3 hours trying to paint a prettier face on my face just getting ready to go out to a club. i find less escape in the artificial now.
-i have learned an incredible wealth of information about surfing and surfing culture and basically can speak an entirely new language of jargon
-i have exchanged smiles or had conversations with fellow surfers. yes, a positive social interaction that i wouldn't have had otherwise counts. i have been told i have a very contagious sense of stoke :)
-i can successfully mount a board repeatedly, paddle it and switch between prone and sitting positions. i was shocked at how hard even this was the first time i went out!
-i am much less sore after a session than i was the first couple times i went out. that means i really am stronger and building more endurance.
when i was 14 how insanely hard it seemed to be able to play chords on a guitar, i labored and labored to cram my hands just into open chord shapes and while i never really proceeded much past that, it's muscle memory i'll never lose and if i'd just kept pushing myself harder and practiced more, i probably could have been much better. i don't want my surfboard to join the racks of guitars that gather dust in my home. i know the learning curve is very steep and it will likely be YEARS before i'm any kind of actual surfer. just gotta keep at it and keep loving the practice as much as the performance.
i have had a lot of difficulties in my personal life the past few years.. i think i've relied too much on other people to make me happy and fix what i didn't like about myself. accomplishing something solely based on my own efforts where i reap all the rewards just for me would really mean a lot and help swing the direction of my life towards a happier place. i have got to stick with this and make it the focus of this year. i don't want to look back and wonder what more i could have done.
i keep having this feeling in my head like i suck more than anyone else who has ever attempted surfing because for all the reading and studying and obsessing i do, i have still never stood up on a surfboard and i feel like a chode for it. EVEN THOUGH LOGICALLY I KNOW IT IS VERY HARD!
the majority of people who stand up right away pay a surf instructor or camp who push them into gentle whitewater waves on giant 10ft foam boards. or they're children. and they get a picture of it for their instagram (the amount of surf teachers who offer photographers is astounding!) and that's it.
it's just embarrassing to know i haven't even the most basic chump move. i have discovered in this "journey" how many self-esteem issues and insecurities are coming out when i have to do something relying mostly on physical presence. lots of deep seated stuff from being a kid and feeling physically lesser than my friends in all ways. i always the least able in gymnastics, the most out of breath in soccer, the slowest runner.. always made to feel like my body couldn't do things but i was a good student and a quick wit. i wonder how much of that stuff as a kid would have happened if i already hadn't had a mental block that my body was too fat (thanks ma!) and thus a liability. i don't have any memories of a time in my life where i wasn't ashamed of my body, not one of being a kid and not horribly self conscious, and that makes me pretty sad.
so i guess picking up one of the most challenging and physical activities to do was pretty smart, right? the slightest failure or difficulty in the surfing world has been bringing all of this to the surface and i've had some moments of real pain at feeling like i don't, uh, "fit" in.
even though i have not stood on a surfboard yet, i would like to take the time to think of stuff i have done since my first time out in the water.
-i have gone to a beach every single weekend this year and seen beautiful sights while also getting out of my apartment and away from screens
-i have felt extremely lucky and fortunate to live in california. i was getting really tired of the bay area and SF itself is kind of a shitshow but i feel like i live in a new world, practically. i spend so much time at insanely beautiful places which is truly aesthetically orgasmic after a week in cubeland. central-to-norcal in particular is just amazing with all the cliffs and dramatic breaks and i'm less than 2 hours away from world class surfing in santa cruz.
-i have made healthy decisions. i started doing yoga and while not dieting, have felt less of a draw towards unhealthy foods that would weigh me down and make me feel just yucky in the water. also the surfing process and travel has given me less time to eat. i also have barely had any alcohol and stopped almost all of my drug use. i go to sleep early and tend to wake up earlier.
-i no longer have felt the need to put so much effort into my physical appearance. there are no mirrors at the beach. i spend very little time on my hair and makeup and my weekend wear has shifted to whatever feels the best post-wetsuit. i used to spend up to around 3 hours trying to paint a prettier face on my face just getting ready to go out to a club. i find less escape in the artificial now.
-i have learned an incredible wealth of information about surfing and surfing culture and basically can speak an entirely new language of jargon
-i have exchanged smiles or had conversations with fellow surfers. yes, a positive social interaction that i wouldn't have had otherwise counts. i have been told i have a very contagious sense of stoke :)
-i can successfully mount a board repeatedly, paddle it and switch between prone and sitting positions. i was shocked at how hard even this was the first time i went out!
-i am much less sore after a session than i was the first couple times i went out. that means i really am stronger and building more endurance.
when i was 14 how insanely hard it seemed to be able to play chords on a guitar, i labored and labored to cram my hands just into open chord shapes and while i never really proceeded much past that, it's muscle memory i'll never lose and if i'd just kept pushing myself harder and practiced more, i probably could have been much better. i don't want my surfboard to join the racks of guitars that gather dust in my home. i know the learning curve is very steep and it will likely be YEARS before i'm any kind of actual surfer. just gotta keep at it and keep loving the practice as much as the performance.
i have had a lot of difficulties in my personal life the past few years.. i think i've relied too much on other people to make me happy and fix what i didn't like about myself. accomplishing something solely based on my own efforts where i reap all the rewards just for me would really mean a lot and help swing the direction of my life towards a happier place. i have got to stick with this and make it the focus of this year. i don't want to look back and wonder what more i could have done.
why i shouldn't surf
-i'm old. i saw a listing for a local surfing competition that had a "seniors(31 and up)" division. i'm 31.
-i'm fat
-i'm short
-i'm female
-i'm horrendously unathletic and outdoorsy
-i quit hobbies like it's my hobby
-it's dangerous
-it's hard
why should i surf?
i dunno, i like it. or i think i'd like it. i like it conceptually. sometime late last year it struck me as the coolest thing a person could do and it took several months for me to have the right combination of delusions and sheer balls to try it.
i think people either Get It or They Don't. my friends are largely baffled and while a few think it's cool, noone seems keen to try it themselves nor do they find it some sort of dazzling bridge between the default human existence and a fantasy-like aquatic flight. weirdos.
mainstream surfing culture is pretty jocked out and gross right now. ripper, shredders, bikini butt babes..
more people like me should be surfing, really. i decided to make this blog chronicling the process of me trying to learn how to do it.
-i'm fat
-i'm short
-i'm female
-i'm horrendously unathletic and outdoorsy
-i quit hobbies like it's my hobby
-it's dangerous
-it's hard
why should i surf?
i dunno, i like it. or i think i'd like it. i like it conceptually. sometime late last year it struck me as the coolest thing a person could do and it took several months for me to have the right combination of delusions and sheer balls to try it.
i think people either Get It or They Don't. my friends are largely baffled and while a few think it's cool, noone seems keen to try it themselves nor do they find it some sort of dazzling bridge between the default human existence and a fantasy-like aquatic flight. weirdos.
mainstream surfing culture is pretty jocked out and gross right now. ripper, shredders, bikini butt babes..
more people like me should be surfing, really. i decided to make this blog chronicling the process of me trying to learn how to do it.
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